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" We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude. "

Douglas Coupland

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" Every single moment is a coincidence. "

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" Blame is just a lazy person's way of making sense of chaos. "

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" No-tech tourism is a form of temporal eco-tourism in which one reads books or watches film and TV precisely because of the absence of 21st-century technologies. "

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" If nothing else, we simply get used to being alive. "

Douglas Coupland

" In a faraway land called 'pre-2000,' what Earthlings now call blogging was called 'keeping a diary.' It's hard work to do well. I tried doing it in the early 1990s but had to stop because I no longer had a life - instead I had this thing that generated anecdotes to go into my diary. The diary took over and I had to stop. "

Douglas Coupland

" When you crop the photo, you tell a lie. "

Douglas Coupland

" My own experience with being interviewed is mixed. I suppose they're a part of my job, and as I would like readers to connect with my books, I do them. I've also made many lifelong friends whom I first encountered as interviewers - as a writer, they're a terrific way to meet and add smart new people to one's life. "

Douglas Coupland

" With 'Worst. Person. Ever.' I knew where it started and where it had to end, but I threw Raymond as many curveballs as I could along the way. He's like the coyote in the 'Road Runner' cartoons. "

Douglas Coupland

" If someone decides to be a musician now, it means because there is no hope of money at the end of it, it means they really want to be a musician. And if someone is writing now, there is no hope for money at the end of it. "

Douglas Coupland

" When Donald Duck traded his wings for arms, was he trading up or trading down? "

Douglas Coupland

" The reason the future feels odd is because of its unpredictability. If the future didn't feel weirdly unexpected, then something would be wrong. "

Douglas Coupland

" Royalty is either going to do very well with cloning, or it's going to disappear completely. "

Douglas Coupland

" Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code? "

Douglas Coupland

" We need to be around our families not because we have so many shared experiences to talk about, but instead because they know precisely which subjects to avoid. "

Douglas Coupland

" I kind of wonder if creativity is all morphing into one big thing that's not even art, but something universal and bigger. "

Douglas Coupland

" North America can easily fragment quickly as did the Eastern Bloc in 1989. "

Douglas Coupland

" I think Americans are weirdly puritanistic about psychopharmaceuticals. There are millions of people out there who would otherwise be dead or rocking by themselves in a corner who now lead full and normal lives because of amazing and wonderful scientific advances. "

Douglas Coupland

" Tofu hot dogs are actually scarier than real hot dogs. It's like wanting the worst possible meat product without even the thrill of it actually being meat. "

Douglas Coupland

" I don't like telephones: I don't like when they ring. Just because it rings, you have to pick it up. I don't even like opening mail; I'm weird. "

Douglas Coupland

" I've always thought that you live in the present, you live in a specific present. You are writing, present tense, so write in the present as it is. "

Douglas Coupland

" I've never gone on Facebook or MySpace. "

Douglas Coupland

" Everyone should have a tailor. David Wilkes, the guy who does my stuff, is like, 'Well you're a writer - do you want a special pen compartment or something?' Bespoke: That's the term you want to get out there. "

Douglas Coupland

" I think way back, the '20s or the '30s, when Kodak came out with the Brownie and they put a list of instructions on the box, like how to use this thing, I think someone arbitrarily said, 'Make sure the person in the photograph is smiling.' And we went from that one sort of set of industrial instructions to this whole culture of perkiness. "

Douglas Coupland

" When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon. "

Douglas Coupland

" Headwise, I always kind of knew that everyone goes grey in our family very early - and I was like, it works for me. I started growing my beard, and it changes the shape of your skull and your face, and I started seeing my mother's side of the family in myself for the first time. "

Douglas Coupland

" I've had maybe 20 jobs, big and small, and I've never hated any of them. At the same time, the moment the learning curve flattened, I was out of there. "

Douglas Coupland

" For whatever reason, I tend to get reporters who are maybe in the middle of intense therapy, and they turn what's supposed to be a professional interview into therapy for themselves. "

Douglas Coupland

" Games I do find interesting for what they say about us, about what we wish for, about the programming. But let it stop there: don't listen to this rubbish about them actually being good for you, helping with hand-eye co-ordination or whatever. They're games. They prepare you for nothing. "

Douglas Coupland

" Aliens didn't come down to Earth and give us technology. We invented it ourselves. Therefore it can never be alienating; it can only be an expression of our humanity. "

Douglas Coupland

" Forget sex or politics or religion, loneliness is the subject that clears out a room. "

Douglas Coupland