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" I don't like telephones: I don't like when they ring. Just because it rings, you have to pick it up. I don't even like opening mail; I'm weird. "

Douglas Coupland

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" There's a lot to be said for having a small manageable dream. "

Douglas Coupland

" I think half the people who get married now have met online. If I think about all the people in my life who married - they met online, online, online. And it makes sense if you think about it, because you fill out this form of 35 things that really define you and - bam - look, you've got two people who match. It works. "

Douglas Coupland

" If you don't have a spiritual practice in place when times are good, you can't expect to suddenly develop one during a moment of crisis. "

Douglas Coupland

" As a form of escapism, yearning for the 20th century is understandable, but in practice it would be horrible - sort of like going on a holiday promising yourself you could go without the Internet, only to crumble and walk in a daze to the local Internet cafe to gorge on connectivity. "

Douglas Coupland

" When you crop the photo, you tell a lie. "

Douglas Coupland

" Too much free time is certainly a monkey's paw in disguise. Most people can't handle a structureless life. "

Douglas Coupland

" You can never become rich unless you like rich people. "

Douglas Coupland

" A ring is a halo on your finger. "

Douglas Coupland

" There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off. "

Douglas Coupland

" We are a dreadful species indeed, and deserve whatever it is our techno-baubles do to us. "

Douglas Coupland

" I think that to acknowledge a new generation is to acknowledge some degree of obsolescence in yourself, and that is very hard to do and often comes with undeniable anger. "

Douglas Coupland

" I love working out how things are made, which is why I have so many models of towers. "

Douglas Coupland

" If you don't change, then what's the point of anything happening to you? "

Douglas Coupland

" Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code? "

Douglas Coupland

" What exactly is it that humans do that is specifically human? There has to be something. How odd it is for billions of people to be alive, yet not one of them is really quite sure of what makes people people. "

Douglas Coupland

" Cloning is great. If God made the original, then making copies should be fine. "

Douglas Coupland

" Florida isn't so much a place where one goes to reinvent oneself, as it is a place where one goes if one no longer wished to be found. "

Douglas Coupland

" If you write fiction, you have to love your characters. It's like your family. You don't have to like them, but you have to love them. "

Douglas Coupland

" Men won't read any email from a woman that's over 200 words long. "

Douglas Coupland

" Self-delusion is one of the funniest things there is. "

Douglas Coupland

" I'm not a hoarder, I'm a collector: if you have something you like, every time you see it, you have a little happy hit. "

Douglas Coupland

" When Donald Duck traded his wings for arms, was he trading up or trading down? "

Douglas Coupland

" Soon it won't be the Internet any more, it'll just be like air, like somehow they'll integrate the Internet into the air. And God's name will have ended up being 'Google,' because that's the way it worked out. It could have worked out that God's name ended up being 'Yahoo,' of course, but they lost out. "

Douglas Coupland

" On TV people look at your hair and then they look at your skin, and then they look at your clothes, and by the time they're listening to what you're saying, you're off the screen. "

Douglas Coupland

" I'm always looking for things that are so incredibly present that they become invisible. "

Douglas Coupland

" I think money is due for some sort of collapse. People are going to realize that money has a half-life, like radioactive elements. "

Douglas Coupland

" Long lives aren't natural. We forget that senior citizens are as much an invention as toasters or penicillin. "

Douglas Coupland

" Whatever happened to books? Suddenly everybody's talking about these 100-hour movies called 'Breaking Bad'. People are talking about TV the same way they used to talk about novels back in the 1980s. I like to think I hang out with some pretty smart people, but all they talk about is 'Breaking Bad.' "

Douglas Coupland

" My life is neither a disaster nor supernatural, yet it is an unlikely event. "

Douglas Coupland

" The capacity for not feeling lonely can carry a very real price, that of feeling nothing at all. "

Douglas Coupland