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" When I present those clip shows and movie mistakes and things, the persona the writers adopt for me is unimpressed, superior, very sarcastic - I'm not any of that. I can do it, but that's not what I'm like. "

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" If I hadn't got into comedy, I wouldn't have met Abbey, my wife, and I wouldn't have my two girls, and the whole thing unravels. That's the thing about being basically - whisper it quietly - happy, is that you don't really want to change anything, because once you start changing stuff, then what you've got all disappears. "

Robert Webb

You

Change

Comedy

" He likes 'Confetti,' and he doesn't like 'Star Wars.' I think that just relieves us from the burden of ever having to take Mark Kermode seriously again. "

" I proposed to my wife on Brighton Beach, and she said yes. That's pretty romantic. Even though I forgot to go down on one knee because I was too busy trying to compose the question. "

" Don't get me wrong - intellectual snobbery is vulgar and gauche. "

" We call ourselves comedy writer-performers, and that encompasses everything, and I certainly have a very open mind about it. "

" We think; therefore, we often talk rubbish. "

" Like most men, I can't say I am thrilled my hair's falling out, but then, if I really cared, I suppose I would wear a wig, get transplants, or start taking special pills, so I am obviously just putting up with it. "

" Mum was an amazing parent and my best pal. The tragedy of it, really, was that she died from breast cancer just as I was becoming a man, aged 17, and we were just starting to speak as adults. She was snatched away, and it felt cruel. She made me laugh. "

" I spend far too much on taxis. Now, if anyone suggests we get the Tube I say, 'The Tube! I'd forgotten about that.' "

" Basically I try not to knock other comedians. "

" UKIP trades in the language of fear and division; it seeks power in order to reject responsibility. "

" I was in the play 'Fat Pig in the West End,' which is a comedy but has dramatic moments. "

" I don't care where you went to school. There - have I made your day? No? All right, I'll go further: I also don't care what your dad did for a living or how your mum voted. Nor do I mind whether you ate your tea in front of the telly, dinner at the kitchen table, or supper in the dining room. "

" My mother died when I was 17, and I moved in with my dad to make a 12-month pig's ear of retaking my A-levels. "

" Do I wake up every day and thank God that I live in 21st-century Britain? Of course not. But from time to time, I recognise it as an unfathomable privilege. "

" Religion is many things, but one of them, surely, is a way for adults to indulge in uncritical hero worship. "

" I'm the guy who spends 15 minutes staring out of the window wondering what to have for lunch. "

" I suppose if I went to Turkey - I mean, I can't imagine going that far away, but if I did go to Turkey, yes, I would probably try to know 'please' and 'sorry' and 'thank you', and 'a beer please', and all the useful words. "

" Where you have 20 people who all share roughly the same educational and life experiences, they're going to come up with the same solutions to the same problems. "

" There was a lot of terrible, terrible comedy in the seventies along with 'Fawlty Towers.' It's easy to forget. "

" The strength of 'Peep Show' has always been that that it's quite traditional, but it's obviously presented in a very new way. "

" I think of myself as naturally idle. The trouble is, the 'nothing' that I do every day is not really nothing. I potter. I muck about with emails, I make coffee, I fiddle with my computer to make sure that the book I haven't started writing is perfectly synced across all platforms and devices. "

" I hate it when people use the word 'sorry' aggressively, as in, 'Sorry, but I hate you.' Sorry's an important word, and it shouldn't be abused. "

" I don't do much to keep in trim - I try to walk places instead of driving whenever I can, but I really ought to do more. "

Robert Webb

Driving

I Can

" On 'EastEnders,' if someone gets surprising news on the phone, the scene ends with them looking at their handset in amazement. No one in real life does that. "

" A waiter at the hotel kept telling me that Cape Town is just like a European city, but it's not like that at all. It doesn't feel safe, and I didn't really go out at night. "

Robert Webb

Safe

Hotel

" I grew up watching British comedy on TV, really. "

Robert Webb

Comedy

Watching

" We got our revolution out of the way long before the French and the Americans. The monarchy was restored, but the sovereignty of our parliament, made up of and elected by a slowly widening constituency of the people, has never been seriously challenged since then. "

" I am a feminist. I don't especially care for the term, but there it is. "

" I grew up in Lincolnshire, trying to get the daughters of farmers and policemen to like me. It didn't go well until I got to college where, suddenly, there were different sorts of humans. "

Robert Webb