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" I think of myself as naturally idle. The trouble is, the 'nothing' that I do every day is not really nothing. I potter. I muck about with emails, I make coffee, I fiddle with my computer to make sure that the book I haven't started writing is perfectly synced across all platforms and devices. "

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" The way people imagine their political leaders is, like it or not, an important factor in how they decide to vote and, indeed, whether they vote at all. "

Robert Webb

Vote

Important

People

" We have a family holiday once a year, usually abroad, but that's it. I feel I should have holidays for my family's sake, but I'm not that adventurous. "

" I'm knackered. I'm knackered all the time. My stupid, tiny children wake me up at 5:48 A.M. every single morning. "

Robert Webb

Children

" I can't imagine getting bored with comedy or thinking comedy is beneath us suddenly. "

Robert Webb

Imagine

Thinking

" I did 'The Frank Skinner Show,' and they gave me a little jukebox-shaped CD player, which looks nice in the kitchen. "

" I was in the play 'Fat Pig in the West End,' which is a comedy but has dramatic moments. "

" He likes 'Confetti,' and he doesn't like 'Star Wars.' I think that just relieves us from the burden of ever having to take Mark Kermode seriously again. "

" We are people, individuals comprising a variety of sexes, races, shifting sexualities and all the rest of it. Every convention that tries to reinforce this difference is a step back. Notions of gender pointlessly separate men from women, but also mothers from daughters and fathers from sons. "

" I think jokes can actually go to places that drama can't. "

" Don't get me wrong - intellectual snobbery is vulgar and gauche. "

" I'm a huge, huge fan of Chris Morris. I think he's a genius, and it is not a word I use very often. I think he's fantastic. "

" Missing out an apostrophe or two does not make you an idiot. But equating party allegiance with nationhood certainly makes you a thug. And thugs don't often notice that they're thugs, usually because they're also idiots. "

" When I was 18, I was halfway up the Eiffel Tower with my friend, Tom, when we decided to stick our heads through the railings. The gap between the railings was exactly the right size to be able to put your head through and nearly get stuck. Which is exactly what happened. "

Robert Webb

Right

Head

" I'm the guy who spends 15 minutes staring out of the window wondering what to have for lunch. "

" I hate it when people use the word 'sorry' aggressively, as in, 'Sorry, but I hate you.' Sorry's an important word, and it shouldn't be abused. "

" It was quite an honour when 'New Woman' magazine voted me 88th sexiest man in the world. I think I was one in front of David Cameron. "

Robert Webb

Woman

Think

" To do comedy, you have to be a pretty good actor to start with. "

" Ambiguity around ambiguity is forgivable in an unpublished poet and expected of an arts student on the pull: for a professional comedian demoting himself to the role of 'thinker', with stadiums full of young people hanging on his every word, it won't really do. "

" My first proper kiss was from Cara Shucksmith when I was 13 or 14 at her birthday party. "

" Ukippers are the kinds of fools who haven't noticed they're sleep-walking towards fascism. Many UKIP candidates are of the age when their parents fought in the Second World War. "

" I grew up watching British comedy on TV, really. "

Robert Webb

Comedy

Watching

" I'd kill to be 'Doctor Who.' Maybe they could make the Doctor two people? He has got two hearts, after all. "

" Where you have 20 people who all share roughly the same educational and life experiences, they're going to come up with the same solutions to the same problems. "

" I had a friend at college who took being poor very personally. He started showering in the sports centre next door and said he wasn't going to pay for the hot water in our flat any more because he didn't use it. He made me and my other friend pay the bills on our own. "

Robert Webb

Sports

Water

" I've been called funny. I assume my wife thinks I'm funny. But generally, if you bumped into me and said hello, I would say hello back, politely. And that would be it. "

" Basically I try not to knock other comedians. "

" On 'EastEnders,' if someone gets surprising news on the phone, the scene ends with them looking at their handset in amazement. No one in real life does that. "

" Parenting girls makes you quite gender-conscious - it's almost impossible to fight the power of pink. It's not such a terrible thing to want to be a princess when you're five, but it would be nice if there were some other options. "

" I don't care where you went to school. There - have I made your day? No? All right, I'll go further: I also don't care what your dad did for a living or how your mum voted. Nor do I mind whether you ate your tea in front of the telly, dinner at the kitchen table, or supper in the dining room. "

" When I was 15, if Stephen Fry had advised me to trim my eyebrows with a Flymo, I would have given it serious consideration. "

Robert Webb

Eyebrows

Serious