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All Quotes by author - Robert Webb
" Ambiguity around ambiguity is forgivable in an unpublished poet and expected of an arts student on the pull: for a professional comedian demoting himself to the role of 'thinker', with stadiums full of young people hanging on his every word, it won't really do. "
Student
Professional
People
" A waiter at the hotel kept telling me that Cape Town is just like a European city, but it's not like that at all. It doesn't feel safe, and I didn't really go out at night. "
Safe
Me
Hotel
" Basically I try not to knock other comedians. "
Comedians
Knock
Try
" Car-essential is a real turn-off to me, so yeah, I just want a friendly holiday resort with a villa and a pool, but which is really private, but there again, there's a supermarket and a doctor's and a beach a five-minute walk away. That's all I want, and it's quite difficult to find. "
Walk
Beach
Doctor
" Do I wake up every day and thank God that I live in 21st-century Britain? Of course not. But from time to time, I recognise it as an unfathomable privilege. "
Day
Time
Live
" Don't get me wrong - intellectual snobbery is vulgar and gauche. "
Intellectual
Wrong
Vulgar
" Ed Miliband is obviously a mild guy. I don't expect him to pretend to be a pugilist. "
Obviously
Expect
Pretend
" Feminism is an attack on social practices and habits of thought that keep women and men boxed into gender roles that are harmful. "
Women
Feminism
Gender
" Feminism isn't about hating men. It's about challenging the absurd gender distinctions that boys and girls learn from childhood and carry into their adult lives. "
Men
Gender
Feminism
" He likes 'Confetti,' and he doesn't like 'Star Wars.' I think that just relieves us from the burden of ever having to take Mark Kermode seriously again. "
Think
Burden
Star
" I am a feminist. I don't especially care for the term, but there it is. "
I Am
Term
Feminist
" I can't imagine getting bored with comedy or thinking comedy is beneath us suddenly. "
Imagine
Us
Thinking
" I did 'The Frank Skinner Show,' and they gave me a little jukebox-shaped CD player, which looks nice in the kitchen. "
Little
Kitchen
Show
" I'd kill to be 'Doctor Who.' Maybe they could make the Doctor two people? He has got two hearts, after all. "
Doctor
Two People
Hearts
" I don't care where you went to school. There - have I made your day? No? All right, I'll go further: I also don't care what your dad did for a living or how your mum voted. Nor do I mind whether you ate your tea in front of the telly, dinner at the kitchen table, or supper in the dining room. "
Tea
School
Dinner
" I don't do much lying in real life because I don't get away with it. "
Real Life
Life
Lying
" I don't do much to keep in trim - I try to walk places instead of driving whenever I can, but I really ought to do more. "
Driving
I Can
More
" I don't really have that much contact with Americans. I mean, I see the oddest things on the Internet, I suppose. And I've got a couple of American friends, but they are Anglophiles anyway because they've decided to come live here. "
Live
See
Internet
" If I hadn't got into comedy, I wouldn't have met Abbey, my wife, and I wouldn't have my two girls, and the whole thing unravels. That's the thing about being basically - whisper it quietly - happy, is that you don't really want to change anything, because once you start changing stuff, then what you've got all disappears. "
You
Change
Comedy
" If I told my 18-year-old self that one day I'd have a sitcom and a sketch show on TV, I think he'd just drum his fingers and go, 'When? How long is that going to take?' "
Sketch
Think
Self
" I get recognised a fair bit. It goes up when 'Peep Show' or the sketch show is on the telly or when we're doing loads of interviews. "
Doing
Sketch
Show
" I grew up in Lincolnshire, trying to get the daughters of farmers and policemen to like me. It didn't go well until I got to college where, suddenly, there were different sorts of humans. "
Go
Me
Like
" I grew up watching British comedy on TV, really. "
Comedy
Up
Watching
" I had a friend at college who took being poor very personally. He started showering in the sports centre next door and said he wasn't going to pay for the hot water in our flat any more because he didn't use it. He made me and my other friend pay the bills on our own. "
Me
Sports
Water
" I hate it when people use the word 'sorry' aggressively, as in, 'Sorry, but I hate you.' Sorry's an important word, and it shouldn't be abused. "
Important
Hate
People
" I'm a huge, huge fan of Chris Morris. I think he's a genius, and it is not a word I use very often. I think he's fantastic. "
Genius
I Think
Fan
" I'm feeling around for what happens in a post-'Peep Show' world. "
Around
Feeling
Happens
" I'm good at finding things to do on my own, even if it's just reading. "
Reading
Good
My Own
" I'm knackered. I'm knackered all the time. My stupid, tiny children wake me up at 5:48 A.M. every single morning. "
Up
Children
Me
" I'm the guy who spends 15 minutes staring out of the window wondering what to have for lunch. "
Who
Window
Staring
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