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" With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me. "

Rodney Dangerfield

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" I'm a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory. "

" Yes, I am scared of prison. It's the last thing if you are after building up a business over 38 years and you are approaching your 66th birthday and you never owed a man a penny and you feel hard done by and you try to protect yourself and your family and go to prison - if that is the society we are living in, I am happy to accept that. "

" My wife and I love to travel, so if we don't have work on either her or my birthday, we definitely travel. "

" Jewellery's not a big thing for me. The only thing I wear is a gold cross on a chain that I got for my 21st birthday. You have to take it off every day for filming, but that's the only time I'm not wearing it. You won't find me in rings, bracelets or earrings. "

Jonas Armstrong

" I hate birthdays. I thought that I only hated my own birthday, and then I realized that I hate my children's birthdays too. "

" My parents screened 'Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory' for my 6th birthday, and I became fascinated by the idea of living in a candy land with chocolate rivers and lollipop trees. "

" I do like to shock and surprise people. When it's all in good fun, of course. "

" As a kid, I always went to therapists; the first time was when my parents were separated on my sixth birthday, then on and off since then. "

" My mother had morning sickness after I was born. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity. "

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

" I remember debating the finer points of flaky pastry with my chicken-pot-pie-obsessed American dad. I remember the divine mix of Thai food, TV dinners, and hearty, homemade goodness that have shaped this palate of mine to this day. I remember all this, but I still Google my husband's birthday. Thank God he's famous. "

" It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.' "

" I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. "

Eleanor Roosevelt

" Prince Charles was once obsessed with a particular beauty, Anna Wallace, and couldn't understand why she walked out on him after he spent the evening dancing with Camilla at the Queen Mother's 80th birthday party. "

" Citizens, thank you for all your birthday wishes. I am 88 years old today and still lucky to live in the greatest city in the world. "

" I like to do special things for people. Any time someone has a birthday, I make them a really special cake that they all seem to love - it's a Coca-Cola cake. "

Kimberly Schlapman

" I used to go to musicals every birthday - that was my birthday present. We'd go to London, me and my two brothers and mum and dad. I think I saw 'Mamma Mia' about five times. "

" It is ironic that the one thing that all religions recognize as separating us from our creator, our very self-consciousness, is also the one thing that divides us from our fellow creatures. It was a bitter birthday present from evolution. "

" I have angel wings and a halo on my wrist, which I got done on my 30th birthday in memory of my brother. "

" There are two kinds of people in crisis situations - those who fight and those who freeze. I'm a freezer, and that's just going by the couple of surprise birthday parties I've had thrown for me. "

" I think my first album was a gift for my birthday and a Faith Hill album; I loved her. "

" My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" I'm amazed. When I was 40, I thought I'd never make 50. And at 50 I thought the frosting on the cake would be 60. At 60, I was still going strong and enjoying everything. "

" I lost twins at 14 weeks, and I had to have an D and C on my birthday. "

" My ace in the hole as a human being used to be my capacity for remembering birthdays. I worked at it. Whenever I made a new friend, I made a point of finding out his or her birthday early on, and I would record it in my Filofax calendar. "

" Every year before a big competition, I get hurt doing stuff I should not be doing. One year it was my little brother's 12th birthday. We all played hide-and-seek late at night. I climbed up a 30-foot tree, thinking he'd never catch me. I tripped and fell on one of the branches and I hit my head. "

" My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" I remember for my 18th birthday, I was going to get a tattoo, and I made the mistake of thinking I was a man and telling my father, and he was like, 'Oh yeah? You better tattoo a new address on your arm, because you're not living here!' And that was the end of that discussion. "

" The day before my 16th birthday I got my guitar. "

" I want to say that probably 24 hours after I told CBS that I was stepping down at my 65th birthday, I was already regretting it. And I regretted it every day since. "

Walter Cronkite