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" You can't be faulted for being selfish if you're going to get better because of it. "

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" A lot of people resent that I've been in someone's life for 50 years. Why shouldn't people have an affection for me and what I've done? Didn't I have to be genuine for them to buy into what I did? There are children who grow up today who will not have that when they're 55 years old. With whom will they have it? Name an example for me. "

" Adrenaline is so strong that none of us understand it. "

" When I would be myself, I was being big-headed. I was being egotistical. I was a megalomaniac, when it really was just having not to be a monkey for a few hours a day. And fulfilling the need to be a man. "

" Adrenaline is wonderful. It covers pain. It covers dementia. It covers everything. "

" There's something wonderful about taking a tag off a pair of socks, off a shirt, off a jacket. I really think that it has to do with my wanting to give myself all the perks that there are. It's part of my psychosis. "

" Going unnoticed has never been my strong suit. "

" I'm really, basically, nine, and I've always been that. I've never, ever allowed the child within me to die. "

" Postwar America was a very buttoned-up nation. Radio shows were run by censors, Presidents wore hats, ladies wore girdles. We came straight out of the blue - nobody was expecting anything like Martin and Lewis. A sexy guy and a monkey is how some people saw us. "

" Nothing can stop anyone who has a love and passion about their work. "

" Commercial television has underestimated the intelligence of the public. "

" The beauty of love, as far as I'm concerned, is it makes you better. It makes you stronger. It gives you direction. It gives you understanding of what life is and what we've been given. "

" You think about getting old, but when you get there, it's not what you thought it would be. "

" I expect people that come to the studio to work to come with the same energy I come with. If I see less than that, I get very strong about, if you want to do this, come with a sense of pride, come with eagerness and anxiety. "

" An only child, I always wanted a large hug-house. "

" God hadn't made me handsome, but he'd given me something, I always felt: funny bones. "

" People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius. "

" From 1936 on, I have taken more falls than any other 20 comedians put together. From the time I was 21, I've taken them on everything from clay courts to cement to wood floors, coming off pianos, going out a two-story window, landing on Dean, falling into the rough. You do that and you're gonna have problems. "

" Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands. "

" Gambling is part of the human condition. I love it. I have the best time gambling. I've been winning fortunes, and I've been losing them. "

" I have a loyalty that runs in my bloodstream, when I lock into someone or something, you can't get me away from it because I commit that thoroughly. That's in friendship, that's a deal, that's a commitment. Don't give me paper - I can get the same lawyer who drew it up to break it. But if you shake my hand, that's for life. "

" I've had great success being a total idiot. "

" It'll keep you alive for another 10 years if you get yourself a laugh once a day: either provoke it, or look around in the wildest laboratory in the world, the public. "

" Love is what makes you dream, and love is what makes you want to get up in the morning. Love is something that you want to be a part of because it makes you better. "

" Interviews are vital, but you cannot allow an interviewer to take your life and disturb it. "