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" God hadn't made me handsome, but he'd given me something, I always felt: funny bones. "
Jerry Lewis
Handsome
God
Me
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" Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. "
Margaret Mead
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" In my circle of friends, I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle, I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me. "
Rosie Perez
Step
Me
Funny
" I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. "
Eddie Izzard
Funny
Up
Europe
" If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents. "
Marcelene Cox
You
Parents
Funny
" I realized I was gay in the shower one day with Barbra Streisand. It happened while I was lathering, rinsing, and repeating with Pert Plus. As I was belting out the chorus to my favorite song from 'Funny Girl,' 'Oh my man, I love him so, he'll never know...' it hit me. "
Ross Mathews
Day
Song
Love
" Mariah is a beautiful and talented person, and I've had a crush on her for as long as I can remember. Every day, my respect for Mariah continues to grow higher. She's a caring, warm and funny person. People have no idea how funny she is! I feel like I've always known she was my forever love. "
Nick Cannon
Funny
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Day
" I never liked you, and I always will. "
Samuel Goldwyn
Never
You
Will
" My eyes are different sizes, my nose is too broad at the bridge and squishes up when I laugh, and my lips are sorta funny when I smile. "
Terry Farrell
Smile
Lips
Bridge
" I'm a classic example of all humorists - only funny when I'm working. "
Peter Sellers
Example
Working
Only
" I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. "
Emo Philips
Door
Next
Kid
" If you have doubts about someone, lay on a couple of jokes. If he doesn't find anything funny, your radar should be screaming. Then I would say be patient with people who are negative, because they're really having a hard time. "
Michael J. Fox
People
Say
Time
" I think that I come off as, 'Nothing bothers me, I don't care! I'm funny and sassy.' But I'm deeply sensitive. Not only about myself but to others. Not to pat myself on the back, empathy is a quality I've cultivated over my life. It came naturally to me as a child. "
Laura Benanti
Child
Empathy
Funny
" One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. "
Samuel Johnson
Words
Funny
Man
" Viral videos aren't just about being funny. They're about identity creation. "
Ricky Van Veen
Being Funny
Creation
Identity
" Lana Turner was adorable and funny. Jimmy Stewart was such a nice person. I quickly realized that if you're not a nice person, you're not going to last in this business. I mean, once your box office starts to drop off, like Veronica Lake, they'll get rid of you fast. "
Robert Osborne
You
Fast
Funny
" There's always going to be someone as funny as you or funnier. "
Will Ferrell
You
Always
Going
" Never fight an inanimate object. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Object
Fight
Funny
" Comedy is a tool of togetherness. It's a way of putting your arm around someone, pointing at something, and saying, 'Isn't it funny that we do that?' It's a way of reaching out. "
Kate McKinnon
Way
Saying
Out
" Probably spending 12 years at boarding school - comedy became a survival gene. But I think some people are funny right off the bat, as soon as they can speak or be naughty. "
Eric Idle
Survival
Funny
People
" The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny. "
J. K. Rowling
Best
Class
Find
" Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse. "
Thomas Szasz
Good
Funny
Make
" I try to sign for as many kids as possible. Kids come first, and I'll always sign for a kid before an adult. It's funny, because I was never big into autographs as a kid. The only player who I ever wanted an autograph from was Dave Winfield. "
Derek Jeter
Possible
Never
Kid
" I'm an unorthodox type of guy, a funny guy - at least I think I'm funny. And one of the things I like to do is come up with nicknames for myself. "
Shaquille O'Neal
Funny
Think
Myself
" It'll keep you alive for another 10 years if you get yourself a laugh once a day: either provoke it, or look around in the wildest laboratory in the world, the public. "
Jerry Lewis
World
Yourself
You
" Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny. Next. Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things. "
Joan Rivers
Down
Enjoy
Life
" I'm very, very amateur, which is funny because I'm not in the amateur leagues. "
Shawn Mendes
Funny
Very
Which
" I don't care how handsome or fabulous or funny the groom is, or how sweet and accommodating the bride, or vice versa. Marriage is hard. "
Jenna McCarthy
Marriage
Bride
Care
" I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, Thyroid problem? "
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Wearing
Funny
Woman
" All men are equal before fish. "
Herbert Hoover
Funny
Men
Fish
" Progress was all right. Only it went on too long. "
James Thurber
Right
Funny
Too