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" You know how you put peanut butter on a piece of bread and the bread falls - it never falls on the bread side down, it always falls peanut butter side down. That's because of gravity. "

J. B. Smoove

Always

Gravity

You

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J. B. Smoove

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" I was the hallway clown in high school. "

" You got to start by doing little things if your quest is to take over the world. "

" There's book smart, there is street smart, there's relationship smart, there's too many different kinds of smarts to know all of them. Everybody doesn't know every kind of smart. There's money smart, there's movie smart, there's computer smart. There's just too many different kinds of smarts for people to know all the smarts. "

" I've had jokes stolen a thousand times. But if you can do it better than me, you can have it. I've had jokes stolen from me in the club when I'm next on stage. And my brain will start to turn, and the gears will start turning, and I'll go onstage and create a whole new bit. "

" You gotta improvise in life. You gotta improv if the police pull you over. "

" I think what I do in my acting world and what I do in my standup world is bring up a brand that I want to bring across. Once you figure out your brand and what you do, it's kind of easy at that. You end up getting your audience. "

" Being a parent is about your survival. Surviving the terrible two's is the most important thing. "

" I loved Peter Sellers. I thought he was the perfect mix of physical comedy with out-of-the-box humor. I loved his tone; I loved his physicality; I loved everything about what he was doing as a comedic actor. "

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" I just always found it easier to be the same guy onstage as you are offstage. "

" For me, standup will always be some part of my life, and other things will move around and find their place. "