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" Academic writing is such a different way of writing. "
Tara Westover
Different
Writing
Way
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" I think if you're going to abuse someone, you really have to convince them of two things. First, you have to normalise what you're doing, convince them that it's not that bad. And the second thing is to convince them that they deserve it in some way. "
Tara Westover
Doing
Someone
Way
" We think love is noble, and in some ways, it is. But in some ways, it isn't. Love is just love. And sometimes people do terrible things because of it. "
Tara Westover
Love Is
Think
Sometimes
" I had been educated in the rhythms of the mountain, rhythms in which change was never fundamental, only cyclical. The same sun appeared each morning, swept over the valley, and dropped behind the peak. The snows that fell in winter always melted in the spring. "
Tara Westover
Morning
Mountain
Sun
" I had been raised in the mountains of Idaho by a father who distrusted many of the institutions that people take for granted - public education, doctors and hospitals, and the government. "
Tara Westover
Mountains
People
Father
" In families like mine, there is no crime worse than telling the truth. "
Tara Westover
Telling The Truth
Crime
Truth
" I didn't know if I would ever reconcile with my family, and I needed to believe that I could forgive, regardless. "
Tara Westover
Family
Believe
Forgive
" I have very non-eccentric hobbies. I like to read, to have dinner with friends, and junk out on TV like everybody else. "
Tara Westover
Friends
Out
TV
" Not knowing my birthday had never seemed strange. I knew I'd been born near the end of September, and each year I picked a day, one that didn't fall on a Sunday because it's no fun spending your birthday in church. "
Tara Westover
Fun
Fall
End
" My family was, I think, a bit more radical than most Mormons, especially on the question of gender. So in my mind, growing up, there wasn't ever any question of what my future would look like. I would get married when I was 17 or 18. And I would be given some corner of the farm, and my husband would put a house on it, and we would have kids. "
Tara Westover
Family
Future
Think
" I think, initially, my rebellion, my rebellion of going to college when my dad would have liked me to stay home and work in the herbs, I think that it was a pretty mild rebellion in the sense that I thought, 'Well, I'm going to go learn how to be a music teacher so that I can come home and do choir.' "
Tara Westover
Home
Work
College
" When you write, you are alone. It can be a bit of a shock later to discover that people have read what you've written! "
Tara Westover
Bit
You
Write
" I read a handful of memoirs to get a sense of what the genre meant. I needed to learn the fundamentals of the craft. I had never written a word of narrative. What is a tense shift, what is point of view? I didn't know any of it. "
Tara Westover
Point Of View
Craft
Know
" It's very difficult to continue to believe in yourself and that you're a good person when the people who know you best don't. "
Tara Westover
People
Believe In Yourself
Best
" There is a certain panic, at least if you're raised Mormon, to being single at 31. But what they don't tell you is that it can also be kinda great. "
Tara Westover
Being
Great
Tell
" Because I never attended elementary schools of any kind, I missed most of the books that were popular with other kids my age. There was an exception, however, which was 'Harry Potter.' My grandmother gave me the first book when I was about 13, and I read it, then read all the rest. "
Tara Westover
Rest
Grandmother
Book
" I hate the the word 'disempower,' because it seems kind of cliche, but I do think that we take people's ability to self-teach away by creating this idea that that someone else has to do this for you, that you have to take a course, you have to do it in some formal way. "
Tara Westover
Kind
You
People
" I had access to books, and I could read... but that more foundational, basic historical awareness, I didn't have any of that. "
Tara Westover
Awareness
Read
More
" I had grown up preparing for the Days of Abomination, watching for the sun to darken, for the moon to drip as if with blood. "
Tara Westover
Moon
Sun
Up
" I was 17 the first time I set foot in a classroom, but 10 years later, I would graduate from Cambridge with a Ph.D. 'Educated' is the story of how I came by my education. It is also the story of how I lost my family. "
Tara Westover
Time
Lost
Education
" It was a quality of my childhood that everything had these two sides. Even though things could be really beautiful and peaceful one moment, they could also be a bit chaotic or maybe terrifying in another. "
Tara Westover
Childhood
Quality
Moment
" I think it's a belief that you can learn something. That's something that I really value from the upbringing I got. "
Tara Westover
Belief
Think
Value
" My parents would say to me, 'You can teach yourself anything better than someone else can teach it to you.' That was the whole ethos of my family. "
Tara Westover
Yourself
Better
Family
" I choose not to see my parents because I value myself - and they didn't value me or my mind. "
Tara Westover
Mind
Parents
Value
" I think you can change your belief, but sometimes your behavior takes a lot longer. "
Tara Westover
Change
Belief
You
" I have a theory that all abuse, no matter what kind of abuse it is, is foremost an assault on the mind. "
Tara Westover
Theory
Abuse
Mind
" If you want to live a miserable life, making your life all about other people is the way to do it. "
Tara Westover
You
Way
Want
" All my father's stories were about our mountain, our valley, our jagged little patch of Idaho. "
Tara Westover
Mountain
Idaho
Stories
" We think about education as a stepping stone into a higher socio-economic class, into a better job. And it does do those things. But I don't think that's what it really is. I experienced it as getting access to different ideas and perspectives and using them to construct my own mind. "
Tara Westover
Education
Ideas
Job
" I think a lot of people have grown up with the idea that they can't learn things themselves. They think they need an institution to provide them with knowledge and teach them how to do things. I couldn't disagree more. "
Tara Westover
Learn
Think
People
" Forgiveness isn't just the absence of anger. I think it's also the presence of self-love, when you actually begin to value yourself. "
Tara Westover
Yourself
You
Anger