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" As artists, we'd all love to not be commercial - to not sell out to the full extent that we are able. But you do what you have to do to pay New York rent and continue to do what you feel strongly about. "

Mike Birbiglia

New York

You

Rent

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" Louis C.K. directs his show, which is very much like a series of short films. "

" My first car was, as depicted in 'Sleepwalk with Me,' my mother's '92 Volvo station wagon that had 80,000 miles on it, and I had put 40,000 miles on it, so by the time it retired it had 120,000, and I basically killed it. It served me well, and my mechanic was always very angry with me because I just didn't properly care for it. "

Mike Birbiglia

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" I am intimidating no one in America. No one feels like they are below me in any way. They feel like they are absolutely either at or above my level and 100-percent comfortable talking to me. "

" I got out of school in 2000, and I always wanted to be on 'This American Life,' since I first started telling stories. And that, I mean, that show is a little bit of a fortress. It's really hard to get stuff on that show. "

" I consider Lena Dunham a comedian. "

" You know the quickest way to get comedians to hate you? Do Letterman at age 24. "

" Prose is all about embellishing and describing. "

" After I perform 'My Girlfriend's Boyfriend,' it takes a lot out of me emotionally; and, at the end of it, I feel like I know the audience and the audience knows me. It's this weird unspoken bond that we'll kind of always have with each other. "

" I majored in screenwriting and playwriting in school - and wanted to make films as a career. But when I directed my first short in college - which was called 'Extras' - I lost thousands of dollars and made an unsatisfying and incomplete film. "

" I'm unable to do the thing that Broadway actors do in plays, sometimes for years. The same exact blocking, the same exact lines. I'm a little bit uncomfortable with that. Every night I'm looking for ways to try something else. "

" The economy of film forces you to make choices. "

" Comedy is tragedy plus time, but the time is different for everybody. "

" Pain is funnier than love. "

" There's something about small venues that's amazing for developing material. It's almost like you can not only hear people's response, but you can understand it. In bigger venues you lose that, but you gain this sense of camaraderie in the audience. "

" It sounds so nerdy and pathetic, but what I always do on Sunday afternoon is bring my inbox down to zero, which is so sad. But e-mail has become like homework for adults. I'll have 141 messages from people who will be offended if I don't write back. "

" Essentially, retweets are like laughs. "

Mike Birbiglia

Essentially

Laughs

" Everything about starting out in comedy is pride-swallowing, from handing out fliers to bombing in front of audiences. "

" There's nothing funny the first time about telling a story about getting beat up and it makes you leave high school. "

" The way I view comedy clubs is, people are drinking, they're ordering food, they're out for the night, and there's also a person onstage talking. And with the theater, they came to the theater, and they're waiting to hear what you say. So you'd better have something to say. "

" Sometimes I'll go to the grocery store and buy a bunch of groceries as though I knew how to cook, which I don't, and as though I was going to be home for the next six days, which I won't. "

Mike Birbiglia

Sometimes

Cook

" Directing your first film is like showing up to the field trip in seventh grade, getting on the bus, and making an announcement, 'So today I'm driving the bus.' And everybody's like, 'What?' And you're like, 'I'm gonna drive the bus.' And they're like, 'But you don't know how to drive the bus.' "

" I drank the Kool-Aid of being a network star. Once it didn't happen, I realized it wasn't the best version of my comedy. "

" I just don't give off a great first impression. "

" I'm going to end up making twenty films if people let me. "

" I've yet to write a stand-up show that isn't autobiographical. "

" Backup dancers are completely respectable. They're the studio musicians of dance. "

" One of my favorite comedies of all time is 'Terms of Endearment;' that's my pace. "

" When I moved to New York, I was wide-eyed. I was nice to everyone, which comedians hate. "

" The one thing you're most reluctant to tell. That's where the comedy is. "