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" Call a man 'ignorant,' and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Wise
World
You
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" The best and brightest don't go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs. "
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" Writing is agony. I hate it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Writing
Agony
Hate
" My working hypothesis is that stupidity in popular culture is a constant. Popular culture cannot get more stupid. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Stupid
Get
Culture
" My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Car
Whole
Talk
" Fortunately, I'm married to someone who's a pretty excellent parent! "
P. J. O'Rourke
Parent
Someone
Pretty
" Fall of the Berlin wall? Being there was fun. Nations that flaked off of the Soviet Union in southeastern Europe, Central Asia, and the Caucasus? Being there was not so fun. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Union
Being There
Fall
" We did not become libertarians because we are altruists. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Because
Become
Did
" There are a number of Americans who shouldn't vote. The number is 57 percent, to judge by the combined total of Clinton and Perot ballots in the 1996 presidential election. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Percent
Vote
Number
" Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
Stay
Living
" The District of Columbia is an extreme example of disconnect between financial input and educational outcome. Unfortunately, extreme is not the same as abnormal. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Example
Same
Outcome
" You're not a baby boomer if you don't have a visceral recollection of a Kennedy and a King assassination, a Beatles breakup, a U.S. defeat in Vietnam, and a Watergate. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Baby
You
Defeat
" The good thing about SUVs is they have storage. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Thing
About
Good
" Tom DeLay may or may not have broken campaign finance laws, but he did his best to look like he was breaking them. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Best
Look
Like
" When I'm in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Car
Want
Shouting
" The anti-individualist enemies that Ayn Rand battled are still the enemy, but they've shifted their line of attack. Political collectivists are no longer much interested in taking things away from the wealthy and creative. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Line
Attack
Creative
" You've got to understand, people are motivated by fun. And they should be. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fun
Got
You
" Toledo is better than exciting, it's happy. Because nothing is more conducive to unhappiness than taking yourself seriously, and taking yourself seriously is difficult when you're baseball team is the Mud Hens. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Yourself
Team
Better
" The divorce rate in 1946 was higher than it ever had been and as high as it ever would be until the '70s. The reason was that prior relationships had not endured the strain of war. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Reason
Divorce
War
" I'm fascinated by political enthusiasm. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Political
Fascinated
Enthusiasm
" Tel Aviv is new, built on the sand dunes north of Jaffa in the 1890s, about the same time Miami was founded. The cities bear a resemblance in size, site, climate, and architecture, which ranges from the bland to the fancifully bland. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sand
Time
Size
" Fascism is very much a mob movement. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Much
Fascism
Mob
" Politics is - once in a while - a forum for serious debate about political philosophy. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Political
Serious
Debate
" Adam Smith pointed out that there were three things that make us more prosperous, in a general sort of way: freedom to pursue our own self-interest; specialization, which he called division of labor; and freedom of trade. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Own
Three
Way
" It's hard to be serious in life. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Hard
Serious
Life
" Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Like
Off
Washington
" War diminishes both civil and economic rights. "
P. J. O'Rourke
War
Civil
Both
" Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Death
Dying
Child
" Detroit is beautiful - though you probably have to be a child of the industrial Midwest, like me, to see it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Beautiful
You
See
" Rahm Emanuel is, we are almost certain, a vampire. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Almost
Certain
Vampire
" Woodstock had a tremendous impact on American artistic life. "
P. J. O'Rourke
American
Had
Woodstock