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" Woodstock had a tremendous impact on American artistic life. "
P. J. O'Rourke
American
Had
Woodstock
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" The bar is set pretty low if you want to be a hip, accessible conservative. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Bar
Conservative
Pretty
" Some day you will be wheeled in for a heart bypass operation, and a surgeon will be the person who is now behind the counter when you renew your car registration at the department of motor vehicles. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Car
You
Surgeon
" Politics is the one field you don't age out of. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Field
You
Politics
" Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Irritating
Left
More
" What is obnoxious about the motives of politicians - whatever those motives may be - is that politicians must announce their motives as visionary and grand. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Politicians
May
Visionary
" Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Love Is
Love
Bad
" Corporate corruption has ecological merits. It's helping to preserve that species known as Democrats - thought to be endangered as recently as the year 2000. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Year
Corruption
Thought
" A friend of mine at the American Enterprise Institute says there are two parties: the silly party and the stupid party. I'm too old for the silly party, so I had to join the stupid party. "
P. J. O'Rourke
American
Party
Friend
" In theory, taxes should be like shopping. What I buy is government services. What I pay are my taxes. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Taxes
Government
Like
" The average IQ in America is - and this can be proven mathematically - average. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Proven
IQ
Average
" If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Health
Great
Mind
" Public schools helped create the idea of America and inculcate Americans with a few rudiments of knowledge. To judge by that very American item, the Internet, a few rudiments is all anyone cares to have. "
P. J. O'Rourke
American
America
Internet
" After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Yourself
Enjoy
Place
" In Hong Kong there is agglomeration beyond my fondest imaginings. The Kowloon district claims a population density four times that of New York City. "
P. J. O'Rourke
New York
Beyond
City
" The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon. "
P. J. O'Rourke
American
Cycle
Phases
" In Toledo, people grow out. Out to the suburbs. Out to the parts of America where the economy is more vigorous. And all too often, out to 48-inch waistbands. "
P. J. O'Rourke
More
Grow
People
" Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I've been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Three
You
Thank You
" We loved cars until the '70s or so. Then they became appliances. They turned into motorized cup holders. Most of it has to do with urban sprawl. What began as pleasure ends up in necessity, as so many things do. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Up
Things
Cup
" Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization - an appeal to civilization itself. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Powerful
Sometimes
Organization
" Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Divorce
Legal
Children
" Of all the American educational system's problems, none is more severe than the academic year beginning before Labor Day. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Beginning
American
Day
" Liberals want to live downtown. All over America - in New York, San Francisco, Chicago, Georgetown - there are crowds of liberals living in the gritty, ugly, dirty neighborhoods sensible people are trying to flee. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Live
People
Ugly
" Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Insurance
Likes
Health
" I have no idea if some societies, anthropologically speaking, aren't really suited for democracy. I don't think that's true. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Think
Democracy
True
" The library, with its Daedalian labyrinth, mysterious hush, and faintly ominous aroma of knowledge, has been replaced by the computer's cheap glow, pesky chirp, and data spillage. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Cheap
Library
Knowledge
" Obama, in pursuit of power, has been as greedy and irresponsible as any Wall Street tycoon in pursuit of money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Been
Wall
Street
" Detroit is beautiful - though you probably have to be a child of the industrial Midwest, like me, to see it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Beautiful
You
See
" New Hampshire polling data are unreliable because, when you call the Granite State's registered Republicans and independents in the middle of dinner and ask them who they're going to vote for, they have a mouth full of mashed potatoes and you can't understand what they say. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Dinner
Say
Data
" The one thing that's terrible about traveling for fun is writing about it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fun
Terrible
Writing
" Harvard is the home of American ideas. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Ideas
Home
American