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" Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me. "

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" My 20s were a time where I made it; my 30s were when I was away, confused, and trying to figure it all out. "

" My mom and dad are both in stand-up comedy, so that's where I started, that's where I got everything. My roots are holding the mic. "

" The best part about stand-up is that you control everything. Period. "

" I want to show all sides of myself. I mean, I don't want to howl at the moon my whole life, you know? "

" I think you gotta look at stuff half-full as opposed to half-empty. "

" When you're a kid, all you really care about are Slurpees and Slip N Slide and riding your bike, and that's what I did. "

" I miss that process of getting the script and reading it and working on it. Every actor has their own way of memorizing their lines, and the whole process of starting to work with the other actors and the director, and doing rehearsals, and going to the location, and going through wardrobe. "

" I'm not used to getting good reviews. "

" It's in my blood to tour. It's in my blood to get on the road. It's in my blood to go onstage. "

" I don't think any of us would be who we are if our parents weren't who they were. People that are in show business, and their parents are not in show business, their parents probably motivated them to get in show business. "

" I think as a standup performer you have to feel the audience. So the audience kind of dictates what they get, you know? "

" Few if any teenagers can relate to getting up for school and finding famous comics like Pryor and Williams hanging out in your living room after a hard night of partying. But that's Hollywood. "

" I think the best comedy comes from stuff that's based in reality. "

" I giggle when I put myself down. It's just funny to me. "

" Everywhere I go, people know who I am. "

" Whenever someone dies everyone says, I love that guy, except for Jeffrey Dahmer. "

" I'm definitely a lot more comfortable now in my 40s than in my 30s - that's for sure. "

" I fly around with chicks on each arm and have no script. I just talk about what I feel like. But that's why my act works: I'm like this normal guy. "

" Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me. I was just inherently funny when I was a kid. "

" The public was used to a Pauly Shore film coming out every year or two, you understand? So when that went away, the public lost familiarity with me. "

" I never made the movies for the critics; I've done the best I could with the material and the directors and the actors I had. But the thing that's really exciting is that once I do that one project that's different, that stands out, everyone's gonna be watching. "

" When you deal with a comedian who has a specific act, you can't hold 'em back. You got to work with 'em, dude. What you think, I'm just gonna do what's on the page, say 'yes sir, no sir'? I'm creatively beyond that. "

" That's the biggest rule in Hollywood: Don't spend your own money. "

" In my 30s, it wasn't cool to like Pauly Shore movies. It was cool to like them when they came out, then it wasn't cool. "

" Serious and intense people, they drain you. But someone who's an idiot, like myself, they're fun. You either hate me or you love me. "

" My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary owner of a nightclub that's responsible for starting a lot of heavy careers. "

" People should stop poking fun at other people and worry about themselves. "

" I'm Jewish. I've always had a thing where it's okay to dance with the devil, just don't become the devil. Even at my peak, I never went too over the top. "