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" Every choice you make has higher stakes - or that's how it feels. "
Sheila Heti
Feels
Choice
How
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" I have this memory of being 15 years old, sitting with a friend on the steps of a little bookstore on Bloor Street in Toronto and saying, 'I'll never take money for my writing!' I had such idealism about this idea of trading your soul for money. "
Sheila Heti
Money
Writing
Soul
" I feel like every single time I've published a book, there's some little light in me that goes out. I've seen the way people can misunderstand or misinterpret things, if not maliciously, then without a lot of sensitivity. "
Sheila Heti
Me
People
Time
" Only in our failures are we absolutely alone. Only in the pursuit of failure can a person really be free. Losers may be the avant garde of the modern age. "
Sheila Heti
Only
Failure
Free
" For myself, I feel more natural writing stories or novels than writing plays. I feel more like myself, like I can express myself better, and like I have a greater clarity about what I want to do. "
Sheila Heti
Better
Myself
Writing
" I find that when I'm in a relationship, I'm just so 'in it,' you couldn't even call it an art; it's such embroilment. With a friendship, you can choose a little bit more how to behave. You can be guided more. "
Sheila Heti
You
Relationship
Find
" Many of the traits in my characters are exaggerations of things I see in myself. But in 'How Should a Person Be?' I wasn't trying to write about myself so much as a combination of myself and these women I was seeing in our culture. "
Sheila Heti
Culture
Myself
Seeing
" There's so much anxiety about being understood - and being understood through what you wear. "
Sheila Heti
Wear
Understood
Through
" The main problem I've always had with fashion media is that women are encouraged to copy other women. "
Sheila Heti
Copy
Problem
Women
" One good thing about being a woman is we haven't too many examples yet of what a genius looks like. "
Sheila Heti
Good
Being
Genius
" The thing I worry about is, what happens when your talent flees? Because you see that with writers sometimes: they start writing these awful books. And there's something sort of horrifying about it. "
Sheila Heti
See
You
Writing
" I remember where I was when I wrote that story, 'Mermaid in a Jar.' I was at a boyfriend's, and he was the only boy I ever dated who was rich, and his parents had a ski chalet, and I just didn't know how to break up with him, so I decided I would be celibate. "
Sheila Heti
Know
Up
Story
" Today, I defined 'sentimental' to myself as a feeling about the idea of a feeling. "
Sheila Heti
Today
Sentimental
Feeling
" I just always try to respond to what I'm most interested in at the moment - that hasn't changed. "
Sheila Heti
Moment
Try
Respond
" I don't know what that line is between fiction and non-fiction that other people have in their minds, but to me, when I'm writing, it's just like whatever the next sentence should be is the next sentence. It's not this artificial division. "
Sheila Heti
Writing
Know
Line
" You don't go to tarot readers or psychics when everything's going well. It's always evidence of rock-bottom. "
Sheila Heti
Always
You
Go
" Raffi is arguably the world's most famous children's singer. "
Sheila Heti
Singer
World
Most
" Toronto is my home. It's where my family is. I think I feel an obligation to be within subway distance of the people who raised me. "
Sheila Heti
People
Family
Feel
" I didn't wander into motherhood or nonmotherhood unconsciously, recklessly. I gave it due consideration. "
Sheila Heti
Consideration
Gave
Motherhood
" The thing to do when you're feeling ambivalent is to wait. "
Sheila Heti
Ambivalent
Wait
You
" Just because you are alive does not mean you have to give life. "
Sheila Heti
Alive
You
Just Because
" For me, a memoir is supposed to be understood as a representation of your life, whereas a novel is self-consciously symbolic. "
Sheila Heti
Your
Representation
Me
" Stand-up comedians have a very important relationship to Twitter. For them, it's a place to try out material. "
Sheila Heti
Out
Important
Try
" There's so much to learn in writing and in life, and in any particular era in one's life, it seems like a few concerns have to be dealt with at once or else something really bad could happen. Writing seems like the place to deal with those concerns. "
Sheila Heti
Bad
Writing
Place
" A line drawn with love can make us as vulnerable as what the line depicts. "
Sheila Heti
Vulnerable
Us
Make
" Trying to live the image of the life which you have in your head... it's really hard not to do that, but I do think maybe it's cheating. "
Sheila Heti
Life
Think
Trying
" To me, something that's beautiful in terms of a book is something that lives inside the reader both as a discrete and complete thing, but also something that seeps out into their life and thoughts. "
Sheila Heti
Beautiful
Book
Life
" It took me five or six years to write 'How Should a Person Be?' and there were many times when I felt discouraged. "
Sheila Heti
Years
Discouraged
Me
" Fiction is a way for writers to preserve their friendships and their romances! "
Sheila Heti
Fiction
Friendships
Preserve
" Some of my favorite experiences of art are when I am there but my attention has wandered. I think stimulation is overrated, and persistent stimulation is exhausting. You sometimes have to be banal, tedious: make the rhythm go soft and slow, give the mind a rest. "
Sheila Heti
Mind
You
Think
" No child, through her own will, can pull a mother out of her suffering, and as an adult, I have been very busy. "
Sheila Heti
Mother
Busy
Own