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" Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head. "

Chuck Palahniuk

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" Being lonely is not a bad thing for a writer. "

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" Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet. "

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" More and more, it feels like I'm doing a really bad impersonation of myself. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I have a lot of fans who are in the prison system, where ramen noodles are a kind of staple. Prisoners are always sending me recipes. "

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" All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Maybe it's our sins that give God consolation when he finally has to give us cancer. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I was born in 1962, and it seems that throughout my entire life the world has demanded peace but maintained conflict. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" People have to deal with their issues together; they have to expose themselves and kind of exhaust themselves. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" What is the real purpose behind the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus? They seem like greater steps toward faith and imagination, each with a payoff. Like cognitive training exercises. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" To be honest, I hate silence. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" You must realize that one day you will die. Until then you are worthless. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" We're so much more likely to feel sympathy for an animal than another person; thus, the best fiction uses animals to define truly humane behavior. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I always thought I'd write when I retired - when I turned 65. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My goal is to create a metaphor that changes our reality by charming people into considering their world in a different way. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I think Chris Brown gets kind of dismissed as a gay writer, and I think Chris's books are really, really smart. I wish his books sold a little more widely. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My favorite books to give or get are short story collections. And always paperbacks because they are easy to carry as you travel. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Arguing that God doesn't exist would be like people in the 10th century arguing that germs and microbes didn't exist because they couldn't see them. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" You are not a beautiful, unique snowflake... This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home... it's your responsibility to love it, or change it. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My policy is to not read any reviews. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I've got two dogs; they're Boston terriers, and they're allowed everywhere. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it, because it's only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles, wood rots. People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I try to forget about the expectation that's out there and the audience listening for the next thing so that I'm not trying to please them. I've spent a huge amount of time not communicating with those folks and denying that they exist. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" There's a television show, 'Hoarders,' where people have those homes filled with stuff. Emotionally, in our minds, we get so filled with resentments where we've got a story about absolutely everything. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I've always thought stand-up comedians were the oral storytellers of our time, because they know rhetoric, they know delivery, they know timing, they know all of these things that you can only learn by telling a story out loud and interacting with an audience. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Every author has to eventually write a food book. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My parents used to fight a lot, and I think they fought a lot at night, and they would turn the television up to hide the sound of their fighting. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" If you flee from the things you fear, there's no resolution. "

Chuck Palahniuk