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" Gossip is when you have a malice of intent or mindless, third-party conversation to someone about someone, something you haven't said to that someone. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Someone
You
Conversation
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" I think as men begin to see things that address them, they will feel that they can relate. They can't relate to 'Basketball Wives,' 'Housewives of Atlanta.' I am not judging or criticizing those shows at all; what I am saying is the perspective is not necessarily the male perspective. 'Iyanla: Fix My Life' is inclusive of everyone. "
Iyanla Vanzant
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" I had to stop traveling alone because I missed so many planes. When somebody runs up to you in the airport and begins to tell you their life story, you can't say, 'Excuse me, boo,' as they're weeping on your bosom. "
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" In 2002, my daughter was diagnosed with a rare form of colon cancer. And it was such a shock, a surprise to us. "
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" What will support any relationship is clear, complete and conscious conversations when upsets or breakdowns occur. "
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" When Oprah Winfrey tells you that you need to have your own show, you feel compelled to do it. Especially if she's gonna pay for it! "
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" I hope that my story, I hope that my life is... an encouragement for people, especially in Brooklyn. I feel humbled and blessed. "
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Blessed
" I have learned the hard way to mind my business, without judging who people are and what they do. I am more troubled by the lack of space being provided for the truth to unfold. Humans cannot seem to wait for or honor the truth. Instead, we make it up based on who we believe people should or should not be. "
Iyanla Vanzant
I Am
Mind
Wait
" The remedy for life's broken pieces is not classes, workshops or books. Don't try to heal the broken pieces. Just forgive. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Life
Forgive
Try
" I wasn't ready for fame and all that brings to your life. It was an amazing experience, but so overwhelming, because no one can tell you beforehand when it will happen or how it will impact you. So no one can tell you how to handle it, being stopped everywhere you go because people saw you on 'Oprah.' It took me over, and I wasn't ready. "
Iyanla Vanzant
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" In my mind, marriage is a spiritual partnership and union in which we willingly give and receive love, create and share intimacy, and open ourselves to be available and accessible to another human being in order to heal, learn and grow. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Mind
Marriage
Love
" Well the beauty of 'Iyanla: Fix My Life' is that men are in every show. To our surprise, some of the deepest healing demonstrations have been with the men - the sons, the fathers, the husbands - because they agree to participate with the wife or the daughter or whatever it is we are looking at, and it is there. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Fix
Beauty
Daughter
" I'm focusing on healing lives and teaching people that they can heal - giving them tools to heal. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Heal
Tools
Giving
" People say I've had a difficult time in life. I think I've had an exciting time in life. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Time
Life
Exciting
" You know, if you're a human and living on the planet, it doesn't matter what you do; you are not immune to the challenges, the trials, the difficulty. And that fact that I happen to be a coach and a minister and a spiritual teacher doesn't mean anything. I'm still human. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Know
Challenges
Spiritual
" Begin within. If it shows up in your life, it's coming to tell you something about you that you're acting like you don't know. Something about yourself, or your relationship with God. "
Iyanla Vanzant
God
Yourself
Relationship
" I took my kids everywhere. I didn't have money for child care, so I took them to college with me and they sat in the hallway. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Kids
College
Me
" I really don't have any weaknesses. I do have areas of my life that I am working on to grow, heal and evolve. Giving myself permission to rest is an area I am working on. Not rescuing my children and grandchildren is another area. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Myself
My Life
Life
" Comparison is an act of violence against the self. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Violence
Against
Comparison
" I gave myself permission to feel and experience all of my emotions. In order to do that, I had to stop being afraid to feel. In order to do that, I taught myself to believe that no matter what I felt or what happened when I felt it, I would be okay. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Believe
Emotions
Experience
" I'm really not that fierce. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Fierce
Really
" Sometimes we pray in our heads and we never get a real opportunity to solidify what it is that we're praying for or what we're praying about. So once you write it down, it's like a flow. It comes out and you solidify the thought or the idea or the request. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Down
Thought
Opportunity
" The show is 'Fix My Life!' Get it? Life. I do not fix people. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Show
People
My Life
" If you are a card-carrying human being, chances are that you share the same fear as all other humans: the fear of losing love, respect and connection to others. And if you are human, in order to avoid or prevent the pain, trauma and perceived devastation of the loss, you will do anything to avoid your greatest fear from being visited on you. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Losing
Love
Pain
" You know that you've healed an issue when you can talk about it and you're not weeping, when you can speak to it and identify the lesson. You know that you've healed an issue when, having gone through that, has a benefit that you live today. "
Iyanla Vanzant
You
Lesson
Know
" I realized it was happening, but most people didn't realize it was happening. I mean, because as a self-employed person, when there is a recession or a cutback in the economy, we feel it first. Because many self-employed people provide services that are nonessential. "
Iyanla Vanzant
People
Person
Feel
" I came from nothing. I came from the projects and welfare and ended up a millionaire with no frame of reference. I was bound to hit a wall sooner or later. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Hit
Up
Nothing
" It is an honor and a privilege to be of service and support; however, I realize people are not putting their confidence in me. Instead, they are actually learning to trust themselves. My job is to affirm and support them in the process and teach them to do what I do when I need strength: I begin within. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Learning
Confidence
Service
" My father never kissed me, hugged me or told me that he loved me. As my only living parent, he became the filter through which I saw myself, the possibilities for my life, the world and all men. He was a conflicted and dark filter. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Father
Myself
World
" I knew all of the childhood prayers I uttered on my knees at the side of my bed. Many years of Sunday-school attendance had etched certain Psalms and rote prayers into the fibers of my brain. However, somewhere deep inside of me, I had the secret belief that I did not know how to pray, and that frightened me. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Me
Deep
Belief
" Why can't women get along? Because we're afraid. We're afraid to be vulnerable. We're afraid to be soft. We're afraid to be hurt. But most of all, we're afraid of our power. So we become controlling and aggressive and vicious. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Women
Hurt
Power