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" I actually credit Twitter with fine-tuning some joke-writing skills. I still feel like I'm working at it. "

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" I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. "

" I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot. "

" I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic. "

" When I finally retire, I just want to go away so no one has to listen to me. "

" I loved doing 'Pennies from Heaven.' Because you have to understand that I'd been doing comedy for 15 to 20 years, and suddenly along came the opportunity to do this beautiful film. It was so emotional to me. I loved it. I don't think it was a good career move, but I have no regrets about doing it. "

" Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them. "

" Well, today the Grammys is much much better than the Oscars. I think the differences in the shows are that the Grammys are much wilder. The Oscars is much more people in the industry. And people dress wilder, I think, at the Grammys. "

" What is a movie star? A movie star is many things. They can be tall, short, thin, or skinny. They can be Democrats... or skinny. "

" The bluegrass community... can be very strict. I didn't know if I'd be welcomed into the bluegrass community or not, but I think they judge you very fairly... I felt really welcome. "

" I realized that comedians of the day were operating on jokes and punch lines. The moment you say the punch line, the audience either laughs sincerely or they laugh automatically or they don't laugh. The thing that bothered me was that automatic laugh. I said, that's not real laughter. "

" I cringe at backstory. Because it never quite explains or gets into some psychological thing that is never quite right and never quite the truth and who knows why someone is some way. "

" The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor first because writing is what you do when you are ready and acting is what you do when someone else is ready. "

" You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies. "

" Love is a promise delivered already broken. "

" I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't. "

" When I was in college, I really liked poetry. I don't read much anymore. "

" I was very interested in vaudeville. It was the only sort of discipline that was a five-minute act on stage, which is what I really enjoyed and saw myself doing. And I bought books on it. "

" I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. "

" I think there are people out there writing original bluegrass songs, but it's hard to get them out on the air. "

" I like all kinds of music. I listen to Abigail Washburn, the Punch Brothers, and Marc Johnson, the great clawhammer player. I also listen a lot to Sirius Radio, there's a lot of bluegrass there. "

" Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled. "

" Bad psychoanalysis would say I enjoyed pleasing people, working really hard and pleasing people, which is probably related to my father in some way. But I really liked working hard. When I worked at Disneyland, I'd do 12 hours straight and go home thrilled. "

" I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an arctic wilderness. "

" Throughout my whole life, as a performer, I've never played with a band. I've always played alone, so I was never required to stay in rhythm or anything. So it was a real different experience for me to start playing with a band. There were so many basic things for me to learn. "

" I was raised with 'Laurel and Hardy' and 'I Love Lucy' and Jerry Lewis, and I just loved it. And I had a friend in high school and we would just laugh all day and put on skits. You know, it's the Andy Kaufman thing or the Marty Short thing where you're performing in your bedroom for yourself. "

" I'm enamored with the art world. "

" I thought if I had a Twitter feed and say I had a following of a 100,000, that means 100,000 of them would be interested in my book. It was logical, but it didn't turn out to be true. It turned out if I had a Twitter feed of a 100,000, four of them were interested in my book. "

" You want to be a bit compulsive in your art or craft or whatever you do. You want to be focused on it. "

" I've run into people in my life who were so dramatic; people who are so extreme and so frustrating to be around that you end up thinking about them and talking about them for literally years after your experience with them is over. I've had that happen to me, and I've seen it happen to other people. I find it fascinating. "

" What I mean is that none of my talents had a - what's that great word - rubric. A singer, an actor, a dancer - there was nothing I could really say I was. The writing came much later. And, actually, thank God, because if I had said I'm a singer, I would really have just had one thing to do. "