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" When I finally retire, I just want to go away so no one has to listen to me. "

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" Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. "

" L.A. is only where you live, because otherwise it's just a sprawling mass of everything, and I think if you live in L.A., you get a little network of places you go, and people you see, and when you leave town, you do miss those places and your friends. "

" I first thought maybe I'd do a banjo presentation record, where I'd play a couple of songs and get a bunch of other players to do the rest. Then I realized I had enough of my own songs to do an album of them. "

" I loved doing 'Pennies from Heaven.' Because you have to understand that I'd been doing comedy for 15 to 20 years, and suddenly along came the opportunity to do this beautiful film. It was so emotional to me. I loved it. I don't think it was a good career move, but I have no regrets about doing it. "

" I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers. "

" Movies always are open to being remade because times change so much, and the tempo of movies changes. I think of it like a James Bond. They can have different actors play the same role... I've had people come up to me and say, 'We want to remake 'The Jerk' with so and so.' And I say, 'Fine.' It just doesn't bother me. It's an honor actually. "

" You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies. "

" There's a lot of thought in art. People get to talk about important things. There's a lot of sex, you know, in art. There's a lot of naked women and men, and there's intrigue, there's fakery. It's a real microcosm of the larger world. "

" Tweeting is really only good for one thing - it's just good for tweeting... It is rewarding, because it's just its own reward. It's sort of like heaven. "

" I love comedy. That's what got me into the arts. I don't even know how to categorize myself anymore. "

" Most comedies are really hard to write, or to watch, because you kind of generally know what's coming. "

" What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke. "

" I was always a huge fan of E. E. Cummings. He did a series of lectures at Harvard or Princeton, and they were recorded. And they were incredibly moving. "

" A record isn't like a movie - you can get it together pretty fast. "

" I love technology, and I love science. It's just always all in the way you use it. So there's no - you can't really blame anything on the technology. It's just the way people use it, and it always has been. "

" I'm tired of wasting letters when punctuation will do, period. "

" Theories, for me, are just about freeing your mind. It doesn't mean the theory is going to work like a scientific theory works. It's about freeing your mind and making you think a different way. "

" I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an arctic wilderness. "

" I never thought about success. I always thought about doing the job at hand. My goal was getting through the show that night. "

" I was very interested in vaudeville. It was the only sort of discipline that was a five-minute act on stage, which is what I really enjoyed and saw myself doing. And I bought books on it. "

" I thought if I had a Twitter feed and say I had a following of a 100,000, that means 100,000 of them would be interested in my book. It was logical, but it didn't turn out to be true. It turned out if I had a Twitter feed of a 100,000, four of them were interested in my book. "

" I never thought much about success early on. I only thought about being a comedian - or just being in show business, is really more accurate. "

" Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything! "

" I have thought about some kind of musical involving my music. That would be kind of interesting. I have thought of it in that way, as a creator of something, not so much a performer. So that's in my head. "

" I'm enamored with the art world. Anytime you look at anything that's considered artistic, there's a commercial world around it: the ballet, opera, any kind of music. It can't exist without it. "

" I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. "

" I just believe that the interesting time in a career is pre-success, what shaped things, how did you get to this point. "

" Everything is fraught with danger. I love technology and I love science. It's just always all in the way you use it. So there's no - you can't really blame anything on the technology. It's just the way people use it, and it always has been. "

" I don't think anyone is ever writing so that you can throw it away. You're always writing it to be something. Later, you decide whether it'll ever see the light of day. But at the moment of its writing, it's always meant to be something. So, to me, there's no practicing; there's only editing and publishing or not publishing. "

" I'm enamored with the art world. "