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" What is a movie star? A movie star is many things. They can be tall, short, thin, or skinny. They can be Democrats... or skinny. "

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" I thought if I had a Twitter feed and say I had a following of a 100,000, that means 100,000 of them would be interested in my book. It was logical, but it didn't turn out to be true. It turned out if I had a Twitter feed of a 100,000, four of them were interested in my book. "

" With comedy, you have no place to go but more comedy, so you're never off the hook. "

" Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. "

" Talking about music is like dancing about architecture. "

" The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor first because writing is what you do when you are ready and acting is what you do when someone else is ready. "

" I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper. "

" Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them. "

" I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an arctic wilderness. "

" I love technology, and I love science. It's just always all in the way you use it. So there's no - you can't really blame anything on the technology. It's just the way people use it, and it always has been. "

" I just wanted to be in show business. I didn't care if I was going to be an actor or a magician or what. Comedy was a point of the least resistance, really. And on the simplest level, I loved comedy. "

" I'm enamored with the art world. Anytime you look at anything that's considered artistic, there's a commercial world around it: the ballet, opera, any kind of music. It can't exist without it. "

" I got a flue shot and now my chimney works perfectly. "

" Throughout my whole life, as a performer, I've never played with a band. I've always played alone, so I was never required to stay in rhythm or anything. So it was a real different experience for me to start playing with a band. There were so many basic things for me to learn. "

" When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when your hobbies get in the way of themselves... well. "

" I would get records by Earl Scruggs... I would tune my banjo down and I'd pick out the songs note by note. Learned how to play that way. I persevered. There was a book written by Pete Seeger, who showed you some basic strumming and some basic picking... And I kind of worked out my own style of playing. "

" I first thought maybe I'd do a banjo presentation record, where I'd play a couple of songs and get a bunch of other players to do the rest. Then I realized I had enough of my own songs to do an album of them. "

" When I was in college, I really liked poetry. I don't read much anymore. "

" Well, today the Grammys is much much better than the Oscars. I think the differences in the shows are that the Grammys are much wilder. The Oscars is much more people in the industry. And people dress wilder, I think, at the Grammys. "

" Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty. "

" Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything! "

" I actually credit Twitter with fine-tuning some joke-writing skills. I still feel like I'm working at it. "

" It's a mystery to me the way that contemporary art galleries function. "

" I don't like to look back, and I'm always worried about the next thing rather than resting on the laurels or the degradations of the last thing. "

" I like the idea that one thing leads to another. You can tweet something completely innocuous, and then find yourself going off on a tangent that's inspired by a response. "

" There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that. "

" I just believe that the interesting time in a career is pre-success, what shaped things, how did you get to this point. "

" When I finally retire, I just want to go away so no one has to listen to me. "

" When I first started doing my comedy act, I just desperately needed material. So I took literally everything I knew how to do on stage with me, which was juggling, magic and banjo and my little comedy routines. I always felt the audience sorta tolerated the serious musical parts while I was doing my comedy. "

" I like all kinds of music. I listen to Abigail Washburn, the Punch Brothers, and Marc Johnson, the great clawhammer player. I also listen a lot to Sirius Radio, there's a lot of bluegrass there. "

" I think when I was young, let's call it high school, and even before that, I just loved comedy, and I loved comedians. I grew up watching Laurel and Hardy. That's really a long time ago. I loved Jerry Lewis. I just loved comedians. "