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" I actually very rarely see comedy myself, and although I admire the work of some comics, it does come from all over, so I'll get a charge out of some fiction writers and poets. "
Dylan Moran
Comedy
Work
See
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" If I hadn't done this I might have ended up digging the roads. "
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" I'm delighted to make as many people feel ashamed as possible. There's probably a site like that for everybody. I've heard Newt Gingrich has his own as well. "
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" Do your own thing. Speak in your voice. "
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" There's always a host of voices you're inspired by. I love Don DeLillo, and I love Isaac Bashevis Singer, and I love Beckett, and I love Pinter. He's one of the funniest voices in English literature since Dickens. "
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Literature
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Love
" I'm fascinated by how you'll change your position so many times over a lifetime, but really what you're doing is occupying a series of positions on a landscape. "
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" What is universal can be surprising. Over time you find the kind of stuff which has people thinking 'That is just something that occurred to me... there's something wrong with me', is in fact stuff that is universal. "
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Thinking
Find
Time
" I really can't describe what my stand-up is like - people see it and they say it's like that, or it's like this, and that's really up to them, that's fine, but I don't sit around all day analysing it. I just try and enjoy a show and interest myself because if I don't do that then I won't interest anybody else. "
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Enjoy
Try
Day
" I draw hundreds and hundreds of pictures of sort of gnarly looking men, so I don't know what that tells you. People who look like... they're waiting for a sandwich that's never going to come. I don't know what's wrong with me. "
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Know
Looking
Me
" America's work ethic is non-stop; it's not even enshrined in law that workers have to get their two weeks holiday money. But Americans work harder than everyone else I can think of. "
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Work
Think
Law
" I don't really think of myself as an actor. "
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Myself
Think
Really
" When I was a child, I wanted to watch things that made me laugh. It's attacking boredom, as simple as that. I was 19 when I first went to a comedy club - I wanted to do it, so I gave it a try and that was it. I found my office. "
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Comedy
Simple
Laugh
" I get a phone call once every 18 months from some mad person who wants me to do something for less than no money and they give me about a week's notice. That's my film career, most of the time. "
Dylan Moran
Week
Phone
Money
" Irish people give big hellos and very little goodbyes. Unless they're female, and then they spend five hours talking in the doorway to the person that's leaving their house. "
Dylan Moran
Leaving
Talking
Person
" If you're a comic, you don't have a rehearsal room; you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything. I've written lots of material, but how do you memorise 90 minutes? That's one hell of a long speech. I've always had problems with that. "
Dylan Moran
Problems
Long
Hell
" The East is very mysterious to Westerners. Even post-Cold War, it's still an unknown entity. "
Dylan Moran
Still
Even
Mysterious
" I'm just trying to understand what's around me as much as anyone else is, really. To draw a bead on a moving target. "
Dylan Moran
Moving
Understand
Trying
" The terror of failure can make you feel like a failure. So a bunch of people think you're not very good at your thing. How much do you invest in what they say? How much do you care? Failure is not putting yourself on the line. "
Dylan Moran
Yourself
Think
Failure
" The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job. "
Dylan Moran
Truth Is
Job
Doing
" I do not walk around imaging myself to be intimidating or smart. "
Dylan Moran
Around
Imaging
Walk
" Children are the most honest critics. They will say 'You're funny', but also 'You're pathetic - go away.' "
Dylan Moran
Say
Children
Funny
" I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s. "
Dylan Moran
Famous
Division
About
" You have to assume that you're talking to the most intelligent, tuned-in audience you could ever get. That's the way you're going to get the best out of people. Whether they know you or not shouldn't matter for comedy. They should get to know you pretty quickly. and they should be having a good time pretty quickly. "
Dylan Moran
Best
Having A Good Time
Time
" I suppose the best comedy shows do have the rock n' roll feeling - if it's a great night, and the roof is raised... yeah, it's a similar feeling, sure. "
Dylan Moran
Best
Feeling
Great
" I'm not drunk onstage, although I've done that a couple of times when I was younger. It's partly just the way I talk - I talk like somebody in a rocking chair. I'm your 150-year-old grandmother. "
Dylan Moran
Chair
Done
Drunk
" I don't want to do the same thing over and over again. "
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Over
Want
Same Thing
" I've been writing since I was very young, even before I was a teenager. As far as I'm concerned, I am a writer - whether my writing's spoken or written in a blog, paper, book or printed on the side of a submarine. "
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I Am
Young
Writing
" It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book. "
Dylan Moran
Speak
Planning
Doing
" I'm just a guy who happens to work in public from time to time. I've built a reputation as an established comic, not as a celebrity - a celebrity is someone who is famous but doesn't do anything. "
Dylan Moran
Reputation
Famous
Time
" I thought The Office was good, though I didn't think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme. "
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Office
Very
Thought