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" I am the sort of athlete who participates in a lot of winter sports - basketball, for example, is an activity that I'll spend many hours a week watching. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Week
Basketball
I Am
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" An ice-fishing shanty is basically a tin outhouse on a frozen lake, except that in an outhouse, the hole has a purpose. In ice fishing, the hole is what you stare at for hours, hoping that at some point you'll break the monotony by falling in. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Falling
Fishing
Lake
" The loneliest, most down-on-his-luck person can have a dog who adores him. The most bitter, sour person can light up with joy when he sees his dog. It is magical and, as 'The Dog Master' reveals, it is biological - we evolved together. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Together
Dog
Him
" My body believes a famine is imminent and has begun stocking up on provisions. These supplies are being stored around my waistline. I've tried explaining to my stomach that this is entirely unnecessary: I've never once, not even when I was in college and more broke than the E.U., done any actual starving. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Never
Body
College
" I started writing in fourth grade and never stopped. I faked my way through high school and nearly was flushed from college - I still can't pay attention - and then had a series of day jobs. But always, continuously, I have written. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Attention
Writing
School
" The first cellphone I owned was hardly a slim, high-tech device - it was more like a brick with buttons, only with worse reception. If you wanted to use your phone to give someone a message, you were better off throwing it at him and hoping you broke his car window. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Better
Phone
Window
" I am a newspaper columnist and a professional screenwriter, but my real love is the novel for all the room it has for characters to come alive and breathe and face their challenges. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Challenges
Love
Face
" My mother taught me to drive using the 'Detroit Method,' where speed limits and traffic lights are taken as cute suggestions. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Speed
Mother
Me
" When I was in seventh grade, I was a scrawny boy with no muscles, so I went out for wrestling. My intention was to develop secret wrestling skills so that if I were jumped by a bully, I'd shout, 'Ha!' and he'd be on the ground in a headlock. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Wrestling
Intention
Bully
" When I was in grade school, my teachers decided I was just about the dumbest thing to come through the door in a long time. Whatever the lesson, whatever the subject, I would sit and listen to them with a lost, glassy-eyed expression on my face. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Long
Door
Face
" I know it sounds strange, but I'm one of those people who goes to a coffee shop to drink coffee. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Strange
Drink
Know
" I am an independent, strong-willed, free, and unfettered individual who lets his wife decide for him what he wants to eat. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Free
Eat
Wife
" I think, of all the holidays we celebrate, my least favorite is Earth Day. For one thing, I never know what sort of gift is appropriate. A jar of dirt, maybe? And it's not clear to me why Earth even needs a 'day,' since a spin on its axis creates a day. That's like giving a man who owns a shoe store a gift of a pair of shoes. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Man
Gift
Think
" Throughout the day, my phone will variously chirp, burp and growl - it's like living with a velociraptor. The last time I went to try to shut it off, the thing bit me. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Phone
Me
Living
" I've always thought that I'd make a pretty good police officer, except maybe for the danger part. I have a rare medical condition that makes it difficult for me to risk getting shot, so probably I'd have to be one of those officers who work in 'do not shoot' areas. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Work
Police
Medical
" I've read that an average dog possesses a vocabulary of 200-300 words, which is enough for him to have his own Twitter account. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Him
Own
Words
" During the holidays, I often see my sisters, who still, even after all these years, can't always seem to agree with me. They take silly, indefensible positions, such as denying that my parents loved me more because I was the better child. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Parents
Holidays
See
" Pre-history tells us that our species used to be a hunter-gatherer society. This means that the job of raising a family was split 50-50 between the men and the women - the man's 50 percent share was to sit in the woods with a sharp stick, waiting for something to hunt to wander by, and the woman's 50 percent was to do everything else. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Woman
Women
Family
" God invented love, and it is therefore perfect, and dogs are better at celebrating this perfection than we are. When in doubt as to how we should feel, we could do far worse than trying to live life like the dogs. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Live Life
Love
Live
" I don't think my father considered allowing a teenager to follow his dreams was necessarily good parenting, or even parenting. I think he thought I was a teenager with teenage impulses. I'm pretty sure he knew that if he just let me follow those impulses, it would wind up being very expensive and perhaps even life-endangering. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Parenting
Wind
Good
" Without a dog, you'd never have anyone demonstrate how important it is to stop every day and smell the roses... and then lift your leg on them. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Dog
Day
Important
" With a 3D printer, you could build your own car, one part at a time. When you were finished, you'd have an automobile that is extremely lightweight because it is made of plastic, which is good because you'd need to carry it because it is made of plastic. "
W. Bruce Cameron
You
Time
Need
" The Internet has turned the world into one gigantic linked community, capable of instantly sharing vast amounts of incorrect information. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Internet
World
Information
" Your neighbors will be envious of your 3D printer - and if they're not, just print new neighbors. Design them so they'll like to bring you pies, maybe, or want to do your yard work for you. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Design
Want
New
" You'd think skiing wouldn't be strenuous - all you have to do, after all, is start at the top and let gravity pull you to the dessert bar in the lodge. But at those elevations, you'll find about as much oxygen as you'll find kindness from your children. It's like spending six hours holding your breath. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Think
Children
Kindness
" With social media, you don't just publish a book and figure you've done your part; your fans want to talk to you, have a conversation. It means, though, that you can connect with your readers like never before, so you don't have to guess what they like - you can ask. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Book
Conversation
Media
" My favorite ski slope is the kind that winds up at the cafeteria. My children, though, usually insist that I get out and take on a few expert runs, in a game called 'Let's See if We Can Get Our Inheritance Early.' "
W. Bruce Cameron
Children
Early
Expert
" Back during the most dramatic and challenging time in our history, when we first came together with wolves, we had no idea that it was changing everything, but we literally evolved together. Without us there would be no dogs, and vice versa. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Wolves
Together
Time
" Without a dog, no one will listen to your opinions for more than a few minutes without interrupting to tell you their opinions, which you won't find nearly as interesting. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Listen
You
Interesting
" It's never easy to adapt a book, especially as the author, because it's as if you're chopping off appendages. It really feels painful to decide what has to go. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Adapt
Easy
Never
" There are apparently three factors that lead to longevity: heredity, habits, and what your wife will let you get away with. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Longevity
Will
You