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" There are apparently three factors that lead to longevity: heredity, habits, and what your wife will let you get away with. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Longevity
Will
You
Related Quotes:
" I've read that an average dog possesses a vocabulary of 200-300 words, which is enough for him to have his own Twitter account. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Him
Own
Words
" Communicating with teenage girls is easy unless you're an adult, and then it's like having someone take a pair of pliers and, one-by-one, yank off your fingernails through your ears. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Through
You
Easy
" I was riding my mountain bike in Colorado, and I met a dog who reminded me so much of my very first dog, in the way she interacted with me, looked at me, and wagged her tail, that I rode away convinced I'd just very possibly met the reincarnated version of my long lost friend. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Dog
Mountain
Me
" The loneliest, most down-on-his-luck person can have a dog who adores him. The most bitter, sour person can light up with joy when he sees his dog. It is magical and, as 'The Dog Master' reveals, it is biological - we evolved together. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Together
Dog
Him
" In my opinion, it has never been proven that food even has calories. When I bite into a hamburger, I see pickle and ketchup and bun and meat, but if there's a calorie in there, it must be hidden. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Meat
Food
Never
" When you have a half slice of chocolate pie, it's as if you owe yourself the other half - what's known in medical circles as a 'caloric deficit.' "
W. Bruce Cameron
Yourself
You
Pie
" About the most exciting thing a baby can do is burp - I've spent hours of my life holding a baby on my shoulder and patting its back, trying to loosen up a burp. Burping was probably invented to give the father something positive to do, since our chests are not equipped to allow us to do much else. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Baby
Father
Positive
" My favorite ski slope is the kind that winds up at the cafeteria. My children, though, usually insist that I get out and take on a few expert runs, in a game called 'Let's See if We Can Get Our Inheritance Early.' "
W. Bruce Cameron
Children
Early
Expert
" I've tried several diets over the past couple of years - not because I need to lose weight, but because my pants are trying to cut me in two. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Need
Lose
Two
" Throughout the day, my phone will variously chirp, burp and growl - it's like living with a velociraptor. The last time I went to try to shut it off, the thing bit me. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Phone
Me
Living
" Going to bed can cause imaginary conversations you should have had with certain people or real conversations with your brother who is calling from a bar in a different time zone. "
W. Bruce Cameron
You
Bed
Real
" I am the sort of athlete who participates in a lot of winter sports - basketball, for example, is an activity that I'll spend many hours a week watching. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Week
Basketball
I Am
" My mother taught me to drive using the 'Detroit Method,' where speed limits and traffic lights are taken as cute suggestions. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Speed
Mother
Me
" I am a newspaper columnist and a professional screenwriter, but my real love is the novel for all the room it has for characters to come alive and breathe and face their challenges. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Challenges
Love
Face
" With my book 'How to Remodel a Man,' I was on 'Oprah,' 'Fox News,' 'The Early Show,' and 'Good Morning America.' 'Oprah' was the best - an hour long segment. TV is so short, you answer a few questions, and then it's over. It feels like a hit-and-run with a camera. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Good
Best
Morning
" Your neighbors will be envious of your 3D printer - and if they're not, just print new neighbors. Design them so they'll like to bring you pies, maybe, or want to do your yard work for you. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Design
Want
New
" With a 3D printer, you could build your own car, one part at a time. When you were finished, you'd have an automobile that is extremely lightweight because it is made of plastic, which is good because you'd need to carry it because it is made of plastic. "
W. Bruce Cameron
You
Time
Need
" Without a dog, I would have tassels on my throw pillows instead of little stubs of yarn that look like small worms. The pillows seem to function just fine without the tassels, so perhaps it isn't a problem. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Look
Dog
Without
" An ice-fishing shanty is basically a tin outhouse on a frozen lake, except that in an outhouse, the hole has a purpose. In ice fishing, the hole is what you stare at for hours, hoping that at some point you'll break the monotony by falling in. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Falling
Fishing
Lake
" The 'Dog's Purpose' premise has gotten me so many emails and comments from people who say that their dog is so much like one they had when they were young or years before, that it seems like the truth. The idea that you would come across an old friend later in life. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Me
Life
Dog
" I was an arrogant man. I not only thought I could manage my life without help, I wanted it that way. I had best-selling books and a TV show and movie contracts; I felt invincible, secure in the thought that everything was my doing. And then, like all arrogant men, I came to stumble. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Man
Help
Life
" None of the kids in the neighborhood had dogs. My dad walked in that Labrador, and we started running together and rolling around together like we found each other after years apart. And then, suddenly, some of the other people in the neighborhood started getting dogs, too. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Dogs
People
Neighborhood
" I have never been able to pay attention to anything for more than a few minutes - the stories in my head have always been so much more entertaining. Only books could pull me out of my own imagination, and then it was only to plunge me into someone else's. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Someone
Me
Imagination
" Without a dog, no one will listen to your opinions for more than a few minutes without interrupting to tell you their opinions, which you won't find nearly as interesting. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Listen
You
Interesting
" I am an independent, strong-willed, free, and unfettered individual who lets his wife decide for him what he wants to eat. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Free
Eat
Wife
" Even if you've gone easy on the vermouth, there are still serious downsides to alcohol consumption, including but not limited to the sense that you're a good dancer. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Gone
Serious
Good
" As to which is cuter, a puppy or a baby, I'm going to say that probably depends less on the particular puppy and more on the baby. I've seen pictures of me as an infant and consider myself lucky that nobody ever offered my parents the opportunity to trade me for a beagle. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Baby
Parents
Opportunity
" 3D printers give us what we've all been craving: another reason to talk to technical support. When you finally get the thing working, though, you'll be able to print out your grocery list as a cube! When you look up directions online, you can print the map out on a globe! "
W. Bruce Cameron
Reason
Talk
Support
" During the holidays, I often see my sisters, who still, even after all these years, can't always seem to agree with me. They take silly, indefensible positions, such as denying that my parents loved me more because I was the better child. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Parents
Holidays
See
" I've always thought that I'd make a pretty good police officer, except maybe for the danger part. I have a rare medical condition that makes it difficult for me to risk getting shot, so probably I'd have to be one of those officers who work in 'do not shoot' areas. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Work
Police
Medical