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" Without a dog, no one will listen to your opinions for more than a few minutes without interrupting to tell you their opinions, which you won't find nearly as interesting. "

W. Bruce Cameron

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You

Interesting

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" I know it sounds strange, but I'm one of those people who goes to a coffee shop to drink coffee. "

" My parents live in the part of the United States that is Canada. It is so far north that Minnesota lies in the same direction as Miami. They have four distinct seasons: Winter, More Winter, Still More Winter, and That One Day Of Summer. "

" During the holidays, I often see my sisters, who still, even after all these years, can't always seem to agree with me. They take silly, indefensible positions, such as denying that my parents loved me more because I was the better child. "

" The 'Dog's Purpose' premise has gotten me so many emails and comments from people who say that their dog is so much like one they had when they were young or years before, that it seems like the truth. The idea that you would come across an old friend later in life. "

W. Bruce Cameron

Life

Dog

" My younger sister looks to me to provide her with advice on how to do her job better - though she's too shy to ask me questions, so I have to give her my opinion on an unsolicited basis. "

W. Bruce Cameron

Job

Better

" I've always thought that I'd make a pretty good police officer, except maybe for the danger part. I have a rare medical condition that makes it difficult for me to risk getting shot, so probably I'd have to be one of those officers who work in 'do not shoot' areas. "

" Throughout the day, my phone will variously chirp, burp and growl - it's like living with a velociraptor. The last time I went to try to shut it off, the thing bit me. "

W. Bruce Cameron

Phone

Living

" I've read that the ancient Chinese art of feng shui can bring a sense of peace, well-being, and positive energy to a home - same as beer. "

" The loneliest, most down-on-his-luck person can have a dog who adores him. The most bitter, sour person can light up with joy when he sees his dog. It is magical and, as 'The Dog Master' reveals, it is biological - we evolved together. "

" Without a dog, you'll be without at least one creature who thinks you are the smartest, most decent and heroic human being on the planet. "

" I was an arrogant man. I not only thought I could manage my life without help, I wanted it that way. I had best-selling books and a TV show and movie contracts; I felt invincible, secure in the thought that everything was my doing. And then, like all arrogant men, I came to stumble. "

" The first cellphone I owned was hardly a slim, high-tech device - it was more like a brick with buttons, only with worse reception. If you wanted to use your phone to give someone a message, you were better off throwing it at him and hoping you broke his car window. "

" My body believes a famine is imminent and has begun stocking up on provisions. These supplies are being stored around my waistline. I've tried explaining to my stomach that this is entirely unnecessary: I've never once, not even when I was in college and more broke than the E.U., done any actual starving. "

" About the most exciting thing a baby can do is burp - I've spent hours of my life holding a baby on my shoulder and patting its back, trying to loosen up a burp. Burping was probably invented to give the father something positive to do, since our chests are not equipped to allow us to do much else. "

" I've tried several diets over the past couple of years - not because I need to lose weight, but because my pants are trying to cut me in two. "

" When you adopt a dog, you have a lot of very good days and one very bad day. "

" An ice-fishing shanty is basically a tin outhouse on a frozen lake, except that in an outhouse, the hole has a purpose. In ice fishing, the hole is what you stare at for hours, hoping that at some point you'll break the monotony by falling in. "

" It's never easy to adapt a book, especially as the author, because it's as if you're chopping off appendages. It really feels painful to decide what has to go. "

" The Internet has turned the world into one gigantic linked community, capable of instantly sharing vast amounts of incorrect information. "

" I am a newspaper columnist and a professional screenwriter, but my real love is the novel for all the room it has for characters to come alive and breathe and face their challenges. "

" My favorite ski slope is the kind that winds up at the cafeteria. My children, though, usually insist that I get out and take on a few expert runs, in a game called 'Let's See if We Can Get Our Inheritance Early.' "

" With my book 'How to Remodel a Man,' I was on 'Oprah,' 'Fox News,' 'The Early Show,' and 'Good Morning America.' 'Oprah' was the best - an hour long segment. TV is so short, you answer a few questions, and then it's over. It feels like a hit-and-run with a camera. "

" Communicating with teenage girls is easy unless you're an adult, and then it's like having someone take a pair of pliers and, one-by-one, yank off your fingernails through your ears. "

" With social media, you don't just publish a book and figure you've done your part; your fans want to talk to you, have a conversation. It means, though, that you can connect with your readers like never before, so you don't have to guess what they like - you can ask. "

" You'd think skiing wouldn't be strenuous - all you have to do, after all, is start at the top and let gravity pull you to the dessert bar in the lodge. But at those elevations, you'll find about as much oxygen as you'll find kindness from your children. It's like spending six hours holding your breath. "

" My dog Tucker likes to walk late at night because it is a good way to keep me awake. Apparently, the one time I took him for a stroll around midnight represented, to him, a commitment similar to marriage. "

" There are apparently three factors that lead to longevity: heredity, habits, and what your wife will let you get away with. "

" When I was in grade school, my teachers decided I was just about the dumbest thing to come through the door in a long time. Whatever the lesson, whatever the subject, I would sit and listen to them with a lost, glassy-eyed expression on my face. "

" Going to bed can cause imaginary conversations you should have had with certain people or real conversations with your brother who is calling from a bar in a different time zone. "

" My mother taught me to drive using the 'Detroit Method,' where speed limits and traffic lights are taken as cute suggestions. "

W. Bruce Cameron

Speed

Mother