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" I came from a poor family. My father was from Glasgow, Scotland; my mother's brothers were brakemen on the railroad. We didn't have anything but mush for breakfast. "

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" If you listen, you'll learn. If you talk over each other, you don't accomplish anything. "

" You've got to recognize, there will never be another you. It has nothing to do with ego; it happens to be the truth. There will never be another person the same. There'll never be another you. "

" I tried to make up for being 5 ft. 3 in. by affecting a strut and adopting the voice of a much bigger man... dating tall, beautiful women... But nothing I could do, after Ava had left me, would add a single inch to my height. "

" I was a thirteen-year-old boy for thirty years. "

" I buy women shoes and they use them to walk away from me. "

" When I say I do, the justice of the peace replies, 'I know, I know...' "

" I always say, 'Don't retire - inspire.' "

" I was a gnomish prodigy - half-human, half-goblin, man-child, child-man. "

" All the muddy waters of my life cleared up when I gave myself to Christ. "

" My money was stolen from me. I was eventually stripped of the ability to make even the most basic decisions... my daily life became unbearable. "

" I think without a doubt there will never be a voice like Judy Garland. "

" Yeah, a few of the films I made were so bad they didn't get released - they escaped. "

" I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern. "

" I was about six years old when I did 'Orchids and Ermine.' They dressed me in a suit, put a mustache under my nose, a cigar in my mouth, a cane in my hand, and a hat on my head. "

" All I want is to live a peaceful life, to regain my life and be happy. "

" Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. "

" I made all these great musicals with Judy Garland. It was all about me going into a barn and saying: 'Let's put on a show.' That's what me and Judy did. "

" Sometimes the transition from being in control of your life to having absolutely no control is swift, but other times it is so gradual that you wonder exactly when it truly began. "

" I was born in Brooklyn, delivered by a Chinese doctor on a table in a boarding house on Sept. 23, 1920. "

" You always pass failure on your way to success. "

" I don't regret anything I've ever done. I only wish I could have done more. "

" This is the kind of world I was born in, one in which I had only one reason for existence: pleasing others. "

" I keep going because if you stop, you stop. Why retire? Inspire. "

" A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short. "