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" If you listen, you'll learn. If you talk over each other, you don't accomplish anything. "

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" Sometimes the transition from being in control of your life to having absolutely no control is swift, but other times it is so gradual that you wonder exactly when it truly began. "

" I was a thirteen-year-old boy for thirty years. "

" A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short. "

" I don't regret anything I've ever done. I only wish I could have done more. "

" I made all these great musicals with Judy Garland. It was all about me going into a barn and saying: 'Let's put on a show.' That's what me and Judy did. "

" All the muddy waters of my life cleared up when I gave myself to Christ. "

" I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern. "

" I always say, 'Don't retire - inspire.' "

" When I say I do, the justice of the peace replies, 'I know, I know...' "

" This is the kind of world I was born in, one in which I had only one reason for existence: pleasing others. "

" I came from a poor family. My father was from Glasgow, Scotland; my mother's brothers were brakemen on the railroad. We didn't have anything but mush for breakfast. "

" You always pass failure on your way to success. "

" My money was stolen from me. I was eventually stripped of the ability to make even the most basic decisions... my daily life became unbearable. "

" I was about six years old when I did 'Orchids and Ermine.' They dressed me in a suit, put a mustache under my nose, a cigar in my mouth, a cane in my hand, and a hat on my head. "

" Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. "

" I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't drink coffee. Starbucks is not going to make any money on me. "

" I was a gnomish prodigy - half-human, half-goblin, man-child, child-man. "

" All I want is to live a peaceful life, to regain my life and be happy. "

" I tried to make up for being 5 ft. 3 in. by affecting a strut and adopting the voice of a much bigger man... dating tall, beautiful women... But nothing I could do, after Ava had left me, would add a single inch to my height. "

" I was born in Brooklyn, delivered by a Chinese doctor on a table in a boarding house on Sept. 23, 1920. "

" I think without a doubt there will never be a voice like Judy Garland. "

" I buy women shoes and they use them to walk away from me. "

" Yeah, a few of the films I made were so bad they didn't get released - they escaped. "

" I keep going because if you stop, you stop. Why retire? Inspire. "