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" Yeah, a few of the films I made were so bad they didn't get released - they escaped. "

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" I was a thirteen-year-old boy for thirty years. "

" I always say, 'Don't retire - inspire.' "

" A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short. "

" I tried to make up for being 5 ft. 3 in. by affecting a strut and adopting the voice of a much bigger man... dating tall, beautiful women... But nothing I could do, after Ava had left me, would add a single inch to my height. "

" I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern. "

" I buy women shoes and they use them to walk away from me. "

" You always pass failure on your way to success. "

" Sometimes the transition from being in control of your life to having absolutely no control is swift, but other times it is so gradual that you wonder exactly when it truly began. "

" My money was stolen from me. I was eventually stripped of the ability to make even the most basic decisions... my daily life became unbearable. "

" I was a gnomish prodigy - half-human, half-goblin, man-child, child-man. "

" When I say I do, the justice of the peace replies, 'I know, I know...' "

" All the muddy waters of my life cleared up when I gave myself to Christ. "

" I keep going because if you stop, you stop. Why retire? Inspire. "

" I don't regret anything I've ever done. I only wish I could have done more. "

" If you listen, you'll learn. If you talk over each other, you don't accomplish anything. "

" This is the kind of world I was born in, one in which I had only one reason for existence: pleasing others. "

" I think without a doubt there will never be a voice like Judy Garland. "

" Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. "

" All I want is to live a peaceful life, to regain my life and be happy. "

" You've got to recognize, there will never be another you. It has nothing to do with ego; it happens to be the truth. There will never be another person the same. There'll never be another you. "

" I came from a poor family. My father was from Glasgow, Scotland; my mother's brothers were brakemen on the railroad. We didn't have anything but mush for breakfast. "

" I was about six years old when I did 'Orchids and Ermine.' They dressed me in a suit, put a mustache under my nose, a cigar in my mouth, a cane in my hand, and a hat on my head. "

" I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't drink coffee. Starbucks is not going to make any money on me. "

" I was born in Brooklyn, delivered by a Chinese doctor on a table in a boarding house on Sept. 23, 1920. "