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" I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern. "

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" Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine. "

Christopher Plummer

" I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny. "

" I'm an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat. "

" What's so funny about cats is that they have this kind of aloof, superior vibe to them. Even if you love them, they are unpredictable. Dogs are more social, and the way that they attach and bond to us is much more human. "

" I rant, therefore I am. "

" I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent. "

" Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world - and so normal and funny with it. If I was a few years older they are the kind of girls I'd like to date. I want a younger version of Cheryl and Katy - a mixture of the two would be hot. "

" I always find it actually funny that the analysis is that the characters I play in comedies are the manchild, the adolescent, characters that refuse to grow up. And yet, if you look back in the history of comedy all the way back to the Marx brothers, that's a big part of comedy. "

" Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini? "

Robert Benchley

" Maori get pigeonholed into the idea they're spiritual and telling stories like 'Whale Rider' and 'Once Were Warriors,' quite serious stuff, but we're pretty funny people, and we never really have had an opportunity to show that side of ourselves, the clumsy, nerdy side of ourselves, which is something I am. "

" When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. "

" Leave America and you'll find that the consumers in many other countries enjoy watching advertising. Not because the products are better, but because the ads are produced to be entertaining. Sometimes they are funny. Sometimes they are dramatic. Sometimes they are just beautiful. "

" I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. "

" I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry. "

" Japanese people have a funny habit of abbreviating names. "

Shigeru Miyamoto

" If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving. "

" I was a thirteen-year-old boy for thirty years. "

" I think that 'Hangover II' is as funny as 'The Hangover I,' honest to God, but I think that it's a little bit darker, and the stakes are a little bit higher. "

" One of the things I like about acting is that, in a funny way, I come back to myself. "

" My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. "

" The men I idolized built their bodies and became somebody - like Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger - and I thought, 'That can be me.' So I started working out. The funny thing is I didn't realize back then that I was having a defining moment. "

" Being funny with a funny voice is more my comfort zone, a broader character that I try to humanize, a kind of silly or wacky persona that I try to fill in. "

" If you're OK with being clumsy, it's funny. But if you are super embarrassed, people are going to laugh at you. "

" So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work. "

" I've always surrounded myself with funny people. "

" I think the eyes flirt most. There are so many ways to use them. "

" I spent a year in that town, one Sunday. "

" We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again. "

" Personally, I feel like I'm trying to redefine what a really good rapper can be like. Like, I think it's not often where a good rapper can be making funny music. "

" It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance. "