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" I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did. "
Terry Pratchett
Sympathy
Go
University
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" I think the best thing I ever did with my life was stand up and say I've got Alzheimer's. "
Terry Pratchett
Best
Stand Up
Think
" Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too late that he's been playing with two queens all along. "
Terry Pratchett
You
Chess
Find
" You can't die with an unfinished book. "
Terry Pratchett
Book
Die
You
" Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up. "
Terry Pratchett
Hands
Up
Always
" The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp. "
Terry Pratchett
Short
Sharp
Sword
" I believe everyone should have a good death. You know, with your grandchildren around you, a bit of sobbing. Because after all, tears are appropriate on a death bed. And you say goodbye to your loved ones, making certain that one of them has been left behind to look after the shop. "
Terry Pratchett
Death
Believe
Tears
" Personally, I think the best motto for an educational establishment is: 'Or Would You Rather Be a Mule?' "
Terry Pratchett
Motto
Best
Mule
" The most watched programme on the BBC, after the news, is probably 'Doctor Who.' What has happened is that science fiction has been subsumed into modern literature. There are grandparents out there who speak Klingon, who are quite capable of holding down a job. No one would think twice now about a parallel universe. "
Terry Pratchett
Speak
News
Job
" You have to have really wide reading habits and pay attention to the news and just everything that's going on in the world: you need to. If you get this right, then the writing is a piece of cake. "
Terry Pratchett
Cake
Writing
World
" I don't believe in the war god of the Israelites. He's a bogeyman. Jesus preached the golden rule, by and large. "
Terry Pratchett
God
Golden
Golden Rule
" I must have read every issue of 'Punch' published in the 20th century, and I think in the process I picked up the true voice of English humour - that amiable, fairly liberal, laconic voice which you find in something like 'Three Men in a Boat.' "
Terry Pratchett
Think
Men
Boat
" I write books back to back, and I work very hard on them. "
Terry Pratchett
Write
Back
Books
" I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it. "
Terry Pratchett
Thinking
Box
Evidence
" Mum had done everything you need to educate a kid. She made me a kid who likes books and she told me about 'Wind in the Willows' and read it and I thought this is weird, Rat, Mole, Toad and my first ever Bolshie thought - you know about 'The Wind in the Willows.' "
Terry Pratchett
You
Know
Me
" I like writing. I get cranky when I can't. Yes, I write books back to back, and I work very hard on them. "
Terry Pratchett
Back
Hard
Like
" The 'New Testament', now, I quite liked. Jesus had a lot of good things to say, and as for his father, he must have been highly thought of by the community to work with wood - a material that couldn't have been widely available in Palestine. "
Terry Pratchett
Father
Good
Thought
" I've got wide tastes, but I don't like jazz. "
Terry Pratchett
Like
Jazz
Wide
" This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic. "
Terry Pratchett
Fast Lane
Fast
Lane
" 'Educational' refers to the process, not the object. Although, come to think of it, some of my teachers could easily have been replaced by a cheeseburger. "
Terry Pratchett
Teachers
Think
Cheeseburger
" I was a very keen reader of science fiction. "
Terry Pratchett
Science
Science Fiction
Very
" I think we are waiting for an e-book that even non-techies can be comfortable with. From my point of view, the biggest change is that I don't have to spend most of the day printing out and packaging a manuscript. I think I almost miss that. "
Terry Pratchett
View
Waiting
Think
" I've often felt depressed; everyone feels depressed. "
Terry Pratchett
Everyone
Feels
Often
" Christ managed to boil down an awful lot of commandments to a few very simple rules for living. It's when you go backwards through the 'begats' and the Garden of Eden, and you start thinking, 'Hang on, that's a big punishment for eating one lousy apple... There's a human-rights issue.' "
Terry Pratchett
Apple
Rules
Simple
" I am certain no one sets out to be cruel, but our treatment of the elderly ill seems to have no philosophy to it. As a society, we should establish whether we have a policy of life at any cost. "
Terry Pratchett
Cruel
Society
Philosophy
" I'm glad a genre writer has got a knighthood, but stunned that it was me. "
Terry Pratchett
Glad
Genre
Got
" Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. "
Terry Pratchett
Sometimes
Than
Better
" I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro. "
Terry Pratchett
Now
Waited
Perform
" We have been so successful in the past century at the art of living longer and staying alive that we have forgotten how to die. Too often we learn the hard way. As soon as the baby boomers pass pensionable age, their lesson will be harsher still. "
Terry Pratchett
Past
Living
Die
" I mean, I wouldn't pay more than a couple of quid to see me, and I'm me. "
Terry Pratchett
Mean
More
See
" When you're all singing together, it brings things together. I know the songs that my grandfather and my father sang. "
Terry Pratchett
Singing
Together
You