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" Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too late that he's been playing with two queens all along. "

Terry Pratchett

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" The ideal death, I think, is what was the ideal Victorian death, you know, with your grandchildren around you, a bit of sobbing. And you say goodbye to your loved ones, making certain that one of them has been left behind to look after the shop. "

Terry Pratchett

" Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages. "

Terry Pratchett

" Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself. "

Terry Pratchett

" Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it. "

Terry Pratchett

" My advice is this. For Christ's sake, don't write a book that is suitable for a kid of 12 years old, because the kids who read who are 12 years old are reading books for adults. I read all of the James Bond books when I was about 11, which was approximately the right time to read James Bond books. "

Terry Pratchett

" Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them. "

Terry Pratchett

" It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Alzheimer's you are an old fart. That's how people see you. It makes you feel quite alone. "

Terry Pratchett

" An author writes a book, and that's the book at that point. And if the author writes the book again, then somehow something has gone wrong, if you see what I mean. "

Terry Pratchett

" The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head. "

Terry Pratchett

" The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp. "

Terry Pratchett

" I know three people who have got better after a brain tumour. I haven't heard of anyone who's got better from Alzheimer's. "

Terry Pratchett

" I'm a fantasy writer, called a fantasy writer. But there's very little, apart from one or two basic concepts in 'I Shall Wear Midnight,' which are in fact fantasy. You have sticks that fly, but they're practical broomsticks, with a bloody great strap that you can hold on to so you don't fall off. And you try not to use them too often. "

Terry Pratchett

" Dickens, as you know, never got round to starting his home page. "

Terry Pratchett

" Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. "

Terry Pratchett

" The only superstition I have is that I must start a new book on the same day that I finish the last one, even if it's just a few notes in a file. I dread not having work in progress. "

Terry Pratchett

" It seems sensible to me that we should look to the medical profession, that over the centuries has helped us to live longer and healthier lives, to help us die peacefully among our loved ones in our own home without a long stay in God's waiting room. "

Terry Pratchett

" Tolkien is eminently filmable, I think. 'The Lord of the Rings' is intensely... landscaped. But 'Discworld' is about dialogue, which is one reason why it might be hard to film. "

Terry Pratchett

" Sooner or later we're all someone's dog. "

Terry Pratchett

Sooner Or Later

" Nothing I can say or devise, and nothing anybody else can say or devise, is going to be perfect. "

Terry Pratchett

" Eight years involved with the nuclear industry have taught me that when nothing can possible go wrong and every avenue has been covered, then is the time to buy a house on the next continent. "

Terry Pratchett

" The bravest person I've ever met was a young boy going through massive amounts of treatment for a very rare, complex and unpleasant disease. I last saw him at a Discworld convention, where he chose to take part in a game as an assassin. He died not long afterwards, and I wish I had his fortitude and sense of style. "

Terry Pratchett

" Opera happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong. "

Terry Pratchett

" Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. Of course, I could be wrong. "

Terry Pratchett

" As far as I'm concerned, I'm a writer who's writing books, and therefore, I don't want to die. You'd miss the end of the book wouldn't you? You can't die with an unfinished book. "

Terry Pratchett

" I must have read every issue of 'Punch' published in the 20th century, and I think in the process I picked up the true voice of English humour - that amiable, fairly liberal, laconic voice which you find in something like 'Three Men in a Boat.' "

Terry Pratchett

" What is normal? Normal was yesterday. If you lose a leg, one day you're hopping around on one leg, so you know the difference. "

Terry Pratchett

" When I was a kid, I read the science-fiction shelves, and I read the fantasy shelves. "

Terry Pratchett

" It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living. "

Terry Pratchett

" I mean, I wouldn't pay more than a couple of quid to see me, and I'm me. "

Terry Pratchett

" I have a living will and I have friends, and I have money and I have hope. "

Terry Pratchett