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" I mean, I wouldn't pay more than a couple of quid to see me, and I'm me. "

Terry Pratchett

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" I grow as many of our vegetables as I can, because my granddad was a professional gardener, and it's in the blood. "

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" Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it. "

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" There are things around, and I know where they can be got quite easily, but I quite like waking up to the sunshine. "

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" The only superstition I have is that I must start a new book on the same day that I finish the last one, even if it's just a few notes in a file. I dread not having work in progress. "

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" I can no longer type, so I use TalkingPoint and Dragon Dictate. It's a speech-to-text program, and there's an add-on for talking which some guys came up with. "

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" I think we are waiting for an e-book that even non-techies can be comfortable with. From my point of view, the biggest change is that I don't have to spend most of the day printing out and packaging a manuscript. I think I almost miss that. "

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" We have been so successful in the past century at the art of living longer and staying alive that we have forgotten how to die. Too often we learn the hard way. As soon as the baby boomers pass pensionable age, their lesson will be harsher still. "

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" Personally, I think the best motto for an educational establishment is: 'Or Would You Rather Be a Mule?' "

Terry Pratchett

" Previous generations understood about death, and undoubtedly would have seen a reasonable amount of death. Once you get into the Victorian era, you might well have seen the funerals of many of your siblings before you were very old. "

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" I'm glad a genre writer has got a knighthood, but stunned that it was me. "

Terry Pratchett

" I think I would like to go into modelling. Of course, I don't know how to do it, and wouldn't be any good at it if I did, so I'm going to employ someone to walk the catwalks on my behalf. It would still be me, of course. "

Terry Pratchett

" Dickens, as you know, never got round to starting his home page. "

Terry Pratchett

" For an author, the nice characters aren't much fun. What you want are the screwed up characters. You know, the characters that are constantly wondering if what they are doing is the right thing, characters that are not only screwed up but are self-tapping screws. They're doing it for themselves. "

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" Knowing that you are going to die is, I suspect, the beginning of wisdom. "

Terry Pratchett

" By the time you've reached your sixties, you do know that one day you will die, and knowing that is at least the beginning of wisdom. "

Terry Pratchett

" Tolkien is eminently filmable, I think. 'The Lord of the Rings' is intensely... landscaped. But 'Discworld' is about dialogue, which is one reason why it might be hard to film. "

Terry Pratchett

" You can't remember the plot of the Dr Who movie because it didn't have one, just a lot of plot holes strung together. It did have a lot of flashing lights, though. "

Terry Pratchett

" Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces. "

Terry Pratchett

" The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp. "

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" Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up. "

Terry Pratchett

" My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them. "

Terry Pratchett

" He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting 'All the Gods are bastards.' "

Terry Pratchett

" They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance. "

Terry Pratchett

" I've often felt depressed; everyone feels depressed. "

Terry Pratchett

" 'Discworld' is taking something that you know is ridiculous and treating it as if it is serious, to see if something interesting happens when you do so. "

Terry Pratchett

" I do not, in fact, use many puns. Certainly there are far fewer than people believe. But I suspect the ones I do occasionally use tend to hang around in people's memories for a while. "

Terry Pratchett

" Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them. "

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" When you're all singing together, it brings things together. I know the songs that my grandfather and my father sang. "

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" I got quite annoyed after the Haiti earthquake. A baby was taken from the wreckage and people said it was a miracle. It would have been a miracle had God stopped the earthquake. More wonderful was that a load of evolved monkeys got together to save the life of a child that wasn't theirs. "

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" When you read, I'm sure you don't realize that your eyes are going backwards and forwards and to this place and that place. Mine don't do that. "

Terry Pratchett