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" Personally, I think the best motto for an educational establishment is: 'Or Would You Rather Be a Mule?' "

Terry Pratchett

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" There is a soak-the-rich attitude in the air, a feeling that if you have a lot of money you must have got it by some ghastly means. I can quite happily say there was never any family money. All the money we got was mine, just from writing books. "

Terry Pratchett

" Christ managed to boil down an awful lot of commandments to a few very simple rules for living. It's when you go backwards through the 'begats' and the Garden of Eden, and you start thinking, 'Hang on, that's a big punishment for eating one lousy apple... There's a human-rights issue.' "

Terry Pratchett

" I regarded finding I had a form of Alzheimer's as an insult and decided to do my best to marshal any kind of forces I could against this wretched disease. I have posterior cortical atrophy or PCA. They say, rather ingenuously, that if you have Alzheimer's it's the best form of Alzheimer's to have. "

Terry Pratchett

" I write books back to back, and I work very hard on them. "

Terry Pratchett

" Knowing that you are going to die is, I suspect, the beginning of wisdom. "

Terry Pratchett

" Dickens, as you know, never got round to starting his home page. "

Terry Pratchett

" I think it does Discworld good if I don't write about it all the time: sometimes you have to get it out of your system. "

Terry Pratchett

" I've got wide tastes, but I don't like jazz. "

Terry Pratchett

" I think I work much harder on the children's books. I suppose I enjoy that. I find it interesting that although there are more than 30 books in the Discworld series, it is the four that were written for children which have won the awards. I've never been quite certain why this is. "

Terry Pratchett

" When you read, I'm sure you don't realize that your eyes are going backwards and forwards and to this place and that place. Mine don't do that. "

Terry Pratchett

" An author writes a book, and that's the book at that point. And if the author writes the book again, then somehow something has gone wrong, if you see what I mean. "

Terry Pratchett

" 'Discworld' is taking something that you know is ridiculous and treating it as if it is serious, to see if something interesting happens when you do so. "

Terry Pratchett

" I can no longer type, so I use TalkingPoint and Dragon Dictate. It's a speech-to-text program, and there's an add-on for talking which some guys came up with. "

Terry Pratchett

" Neither of my parents went to church, but they did everything that you needed to do to be Christian. That's something a Quaker would call an intimation of the divine. "

Terry Pratchett

" I think we are waiting for an e-book that even non-techies can be comfortable with. From my point of view, the biggest change is that I don't have to spend most of the day printing out and packaging a manuscript. I think I almost miss that. "

Terry Pratchett

" Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree. "

Terry Pratchett

" 'Educational' refers to the process, not the object. Although, come to think of it, some of my teachers could easily have been replaced by a cheeseburger. "

Terry Pratchett

" What is normal? Normal was yesterday. If you lose a leg, one day you're hopping around on one leg, so you know the difference. "

Terry Pratchett

" I particularly admire are Mark Twain and Jerome K. Jerome who wrote in a certain tone of voice which was humane and understanding of humanity, but always ready to annotate its little foibles. I think I'd lay my cards down on that, and say that it's that that I'm trying to do. "

Terry Pratchett

" There are some people who hate my guts. But that goes with the territory. "

Terry Pratchett

" I have a living will and I have friends, and I have money and I have hope. "

Terry Pratchett

" I became a journalist at 17. A few hours later, I saw my first dead body, which was somewhat... colourful. That's when I learned you can go on throwing up after you run out of things to throw up. "

Terry Pratchett

" There is a rumour going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist. "

Terry Pratchett

" My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them. "

Terry Pratchett

" You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look. "

Terry Pratchett

" The 'New Testament', now, I quite liked. Jesus had a lot of good things to say, and as for his father, he must have been highly thought of by the community to work with wood - a material that couldn't have been widely available in Palestine. "

Terry Pratchett

" I think the best thing I ever did with my life was stand up and say I've got Alzheimer's. "

Terry Pratchett

" The baby boomers are getting older, and will stay older for longer. And they will run right into the dementia firing range. How will a society cope? Especially a society that can't so readily rely on those stable family relationships that traditionally provided the backbone of care? "

Terry Pratchett

" In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded. "

Terry Pratchett

" For an author, the nice characters aren't much fun. What you want are the screwed up characters. You know, the characters that are constantly wondering if what they are doing is the right thing, characters that are not only screwed up but are self-tapping screws. They're doing it for themselves. "

Terry Pratchett