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" I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He's the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor's wife right now. "
Ellen DeGeneres
Small
Wife
School
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" I'm a lesbian, an Aquarian, and a vegetarian. "
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" We have two dogs, Mabel and Wolf, and three cats at home, Charlie, George and Chairman. We have two cats on our farm, Tom and Little Sister, two horses, and two mini horses, Hannah and Tricky. We also have two cows, Holy and Madonna. And those are only the animals we let sleep in our bed. "
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" My dad is still Christian Scientist. My mom's not, and I'm not. But I believe in God, and that there's a higher power and an intelligence that's bigger than us and that we can rely on. It's not just us, thinking we are the ones in control of everything. That idea gives me support. "
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" The reason I do what I do is because I was influenced by Steve Martin, by Woody Allen, by Bob Newhart, by Carol Burnett, by Lucille Ball. "
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" I'm not an activist; I don't look for controversy. I'm not a political person, but I'm a person with compassion. I care passionately about equal rights. I care about human rights. I care about animal rights. "
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" I have a great career, and I have wonderful fans who really are supportive and loyal - because I'm not hiding anything from them. "
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" I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I'm gonna rip it off. "
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" I'm grateful for everything. I'm grateful for my health, and I'm so grateful for the love in my life. "
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" Designing is my hobby. If I didn't do what I do for a living - at some point when I don't do this for a living - I'll probably just do design work. I love finding really special pieces of furniture. "
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" People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. "
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" I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her. "
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" A lot of money with the wrong career is not going to make you happy. If you have money without happiness, it doesn't mean anything. It's all about happiness. "
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" Hosting the Oscars is pretty much the scariest thing you can do. To me, this is right up there with bungee jumping! "
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Right
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" I am a really sensitive person. "
Ellen DeGeneres
Really
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" I work really hard at trying to see the big picture and not getting stuck in ego. I believe we're all put on this planet for a purpose, and we all have a different purpose... When you connect with that love and that compassion, that's when everything unfolds. "
Ellen DeGeneres
Love
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" The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think people need to start shifting into joy and happiness. As corny as it sounds, we need to make a shift. "
Ellen DeGeneres
Joy
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" The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the attention. It was - it really is, I have a career despite myself. "
Ellen DeGeneres
Stand
Up
Myself
" The first house I bought was a little Spanish bungalow on Clinton Street in West Hollywood, right behind the Improv. I was renting it, and I asked the owners if I could buy it, and they were really nice and let me work out a deal. And I fixed it up and later sold it. That was when I realized that if you make some improvements, you can make money. "
Ellen DeGeneres
Money
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" A kid should be told that you can have feelings. "
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" My father was a first reader in the Christian Science Church, which is similar to being a preacher. There was no drinking, smoking or cursing. "
Ellen DeGeneres
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" If you want to get rid of stuff, you can always do a good spring-cleaning. Or you can do what I do. Move. "
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" I just like observing people - it's something I've done ever since I was a kid, and I got really good at it. That's a big part of why I became a comedian. My audience is filled with every kind of person you can imagine, and I love that. "
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" Just go up to somebody on the street and say 'You're it!' and then run away. "
Ellen DeGeneres
Run
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" I love clothes, so when I wear clothes, they're usually somebody's. You know, I'm not wearing Kmart. "
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" I've been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my staff and three guys so it's pretty equal. I don't know why that is. It's been the same thing for a while. It's hard for female comedians to stand out. That's weird. That's a shame. "
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Trying
" I just feel like every kid is growing up too fast and they're seeing too much. Everything is about sex, and that's fine for me. I'm not saying I don't like it. But I don't think it should be everywhere, where kids are exposed to everything sexual. Because they have to have some innocence; there's just no innocence left. "
Ellen DeGeneres
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" I never buy a house thinking that I'm going to sell it. "
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" I have an amazing team; I have amazing producers; I have amazing writers, but at the end of it, it's me making the decisions on the writing, the tone, the editing. "
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" I get those fleeting, beautiful moments of inner peace and stillness - and then the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day, I'm a human trying to make it through in this world. "
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" I used to beat myself up about weight and working out, and no matter what I did I never felt good about myself. I decided to accept myself and know that I am good. "
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