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" I never buy a house thinking that I'm going to sell it. "

Ellen DeGeneres

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" I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves. "

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" The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the attention. It was - it really is, I have a career despite myself. "

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" Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log. "

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" I just feel like every kid is growing up too fast and they're seeing too much. Everything is about sex, and that's fine for me. I'm not saying I don't like it. But I don't think it should be everywhere, where kids are exposed to everything sexual. Because they have to have some innocence; there's just no innocence left. "

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" Usually, I wear tennis shoes because my feet are flat, and it hurts to wear anything other than shoes that are cushiony. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is. "

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" I'm a comedian, and I definitely see the humor in a lot of things. I am also sad a lot. I cry often and easily. I think you're supposed to feel all kinds of things. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I don't pay attention to the number of birthdays. It's weird when I say I'm 53. It just is crazy that I'm 53. I think I'm very immature. I feel like a kid. That's why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can't do certain things anymore - like doing the plank for 10 minutes. "

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" Hosting the Oscars is pretty much the scariest thing you can do. To me, this is right up there with bungee jumping! "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I'm a fan of people getting together. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" When we were growing up our parents somehow made it clear that being famous was good. And I mistakenly thought that if I was famous then everyone would love me. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" For some reason, we can't just enjoy somebody else's success. Somehow, that's going to affect us. If they have more, then I have less - and I don't know why. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I became vegan because I saw footage of what really goes on in the slaughterhouses and on the dairy farms. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" It's not like I grew up playing pranks on people, and I was not that girl in school. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" If you want to get rid of stuff, you can always do a good spring-cleaning. Or you can do what I do. Move. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" My dad is still Christian Scientist. My mom's not, and I'm not. But I believe in God, and that there's a higher power and an intelligence that's bigger than us and that we can rely on. It's not just us, thinking we are the ones in control of everything. That idea gives me support. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I'm sure there's somebody out there who doesn't like Betty White because she's short and has white hair. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I wanted to have money; I wanted to be special; I wanted people to like me; I wanted to be famous. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I'm not an activist; I don't look for controversy. I'm not a political person, but I'm a person with compassion. I care passionately about equal rights. I care about human rights. I care about animal rights. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I didn't grow up in a house - we moved a lot, and we always lived in apartments. But we looked a lot; we went to open houses almost every weekend. I think that's why I always wanted a house. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I do fantasize about having my own shop one day. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I grew up in a very conservative home. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" If we're destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one another and all that stuff, there's got to be a very powerful energy to fight that. I think we need more love in the world. We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to that. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from... you heterosexuals. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" If you're going to be honest with yourself, you have to admit that you go into show business wanting people to talk about you and wanting everyone to know who you are. But that also means there are going to be a whole bunch of people who don't like you. No matter who you are. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I still have the shirt I wore my first time on Johnny Carson's show. Only now I use it as a tablecloth at dinner parties. It was very blousy. "

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" But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get our priorities straight. I think we all know what's really important in life - winning an Oscar. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" People are constantly asking Portia and me if we are going to have children. We thought about it. We love to be around children after they've been fed and bathed. But we ultimately decided that we don't want children of our own. There is far too much glass in our house. "

Ellen DeGeneres