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" There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off. "

Douglas Coupland

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" A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers. "

" If God drives a car, He'd drive a 1973 Ford LTD Brougham sedan with a claret-colored vinyl roof, with oxblood leather upholstery and an opera window. "

Douglas Coupland

" Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. "

" I'm a visual thinker. Research tells us that only 20 per cent of people think visually. So what about the other 80 per cent? Don't they think in pictures? I mean if you imagine washing and preparing potatoes you visualise the process, right? "

Douglas Coupland

" Your ability to rationalize your own bad deeds makes you believe that the whole world is as amoral as you are. "

Douglas Coupland

" I love Felicity Jones. It was funny because I went to go see the 'Rogue One' set, and I was like, 'Oh my God, I love you.' And she's so tiny, and elegant, and she's just so small. Everyone's so much smaller than they seem. "

" I think that to acknowledge a new generation is to acknowledge some degree of obsolescence in yourself, and that is very hard to do and often comes with undeniable anger. "

Douglas Coupland

" The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. "

" I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny. "

" You wait for fate to bring about the changes in life which you should be bringing about by yourself. "

Douglas Coupland

" If my mother hadn't laughed at the funny things I did, I probably wouldn't be a comic actor. After she had her first heart attack, the doctor said, 'Try to make her laugh.' And that was the first time I tried to make anyone laugh. "

" Good-looking people with strong, fluoridated teeth get things handed to them on platters. "

Douglas Coupland

" If our subconscious was attractive, we wouldn't have to bury it down deep within us. "

Douglas Coupland

" I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty. "

" Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code? "

Douglas Coupland

" Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers... for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces. "

" Often, joking for me is a way of diffusing the awkwardness of a situation, so it's kind of exhilarating to be a part of projects where there's nothing funny or lighthearted. "

" Maori get pigeonholed into the idea they're spiritual and telling stories like 'Whale Rider' and 'Once Were Warriors,' quite serious stuff, but we're pretty funny people, and we never really have had an opportunity to show that side of ourselves, the clumsy, nerdy side of ourselves, which is something I am. "

" Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they're home. I'm that way at Saks. "

" The parrot's so funny. He imitates me and I don't even realize he's doing it. I'm walking around the house talking to myself and whistling and the next day he's said something I've said... it's scary you know? "

" I don't know, maybe Australian humour isn't supposed to be funny. It's as dry as the Sahara, and I think people miss that. "

" The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wants the brooding, dangerous guy you shouldn't have. "

" It's funny what memory does, isn't it? My favorite holiday tradition might not have happened more than once or twice. But because it is such a good memory, so encapsulating of everything I love about the holidays, in my mind it happened every year. Without fail. "

" I own and operate a ferocious ego. "

" Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse. "

" Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world - and so normal and funny with it. If I was a few years older they are the kind of girls I'd like to date. I want a younger version of Cheryl and Katy - a mixture of the two would be hot. "

" It's so funny because I listen to songs that I recorded that I didn't really know anything about at the time. Later on I'm starting to feel the songs. Sing them first, feel them later. "

" Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine. "

Christopher Plummer

" What most readers do not realize is that it takes a particular genius to write funny, to satirize. "

" My favourite comedian, of course, is Tim Conway. He has a way about him - being that belly-laugh kind of funny, and he has the improvisational skills, too. I've never seen anybody better. "