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" I enjoy talking about politics a great deal. "

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" I want people to know my political point of view. There's an appetite for that, almost an expectation. I also want to make people laugh, but I wouldn't want to do it at the expense of my point of view. "

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" I'm a terrible grocery shopper. I hardly ever do it. And if I do, there's never more than three things in the bag. "

" My mother is an incredibly beautiful woman who has laughed at every single thing my father's ever said. At a young age, my brother and I understood that if you can make girls laugh, you can punch well above your weight class. "

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" Politicians don't say no to cameras very often. "

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" Donald Trump has been saying that he will run for president as a Republican, which is surprising since I just assumed he was running as a joke. "

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" Donald Trump often appears on Fox, which is ironic because a fox often appears on Donald Trump's head. "

" The nice thing about anger is that, as an emotion, it's strong enough to unplug me from the comedian's mind for a minute and just be a frustrated member of the citizenry. "

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" I love cheese plates. Though I actually hate cheese plates. Because I can't say no to them. "