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" People who know me would not say that, at my core, I'm silly. "

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" I don't know what else to do other than tell people what I think to be untruths. "

" Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It's not like I'm handy. "

" Donald Trump has been saying that he will run for president as a Republican, which is surprising since I just assumed he was running as a joke. "

" My father is sort of the jokester. My dad is still the funniest guy in our family. "

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" I started in high school, and in college, I studied radio, TV, and film. The plan was to be a filmmaker, and it was always comedy. "

" The hands are the feet of the arms. "

" The Earth will be around for a long time before you have a funnier president than Obama. He has a stand-up's cadence and the awareness and ability to make jokes about himself before comedians can. That's a page almost every politician should try to take from his book. "

" I'm a terrible grocery shopper. I hardly ever do it. And if I do, there's never more than three things in the bag. "

" I always thought I'd be a father. "

" I'm not a tortured soul. "

" I want people to know my political point of view. There's an appetite for that, almost an expectation. I also want to make people laugh, but I wouldn't want to do it at the expense of my point of view. "

" The first time I had disposable income, the two things I cared most about were a television and a couch. "

" People appreciate it when you take some time to think about who will be listening to your jokes. "

" It's very hard to get inside Donald Trump's brain, and I don't want to try. "

" I thought Ted Cruz was more fun than Carly Fiorina. And I never thought I would ever say the words, 'Ted Cruz was more fun.' "

" I think the greatest gift your parents can give you if you want to be a comedian is good taste. "

" The nice thing about anger is that, as an emotion, it's strong enough to unplug me from the comedian's mind for a minute and just be a frustrated member of the citizenry. "

" My mother is an incredibly beautiful woman who has laughed at every single thing my father's ever said. At a young age, my brother and I understood that if you can make girls laugh, you can punch well above your weight class. "

" My parents introduced me to 'SNL,' Monty Python, and Richard Pryor probably way earlier than they had any right to. "

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" Donald Trump often appears on Fox, which is ironic because a fox often appears on Donald Trump's head. "

" 'SNL' after-parties are sort of like a time to celebrate your successes and drown your sorrows, depending on how the show went for you. "

" Politicians don't say no to cameras very often. "

" I was very much aiming to go into movies eventually, like a lot of 'SNL' people. But, soon after I arrived, all these really good actors started, like Fred Armisen, Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis and Andy Samberg, and I thought, 'If I were casting a movie, I would put all of them in it over me.' "

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" It's nice when I get offered small parts. But I really think that 'SNL' is what my skill set is best designed for. "

" I did not go into comedy to escape anything. I went into comedy because I had parents who thought it was a reputable way to earn a living. "