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" I had a terrible vision: I saw an encyclopedia walk up to a polymath and open him up. "

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" Virginity is the ideal of those who want to deflower. "

" There is no more unfortunate creature under the sun than a fetishist who yearns for a woman's shoe and has to settle for the whole woman. "

" Curses on the law! Most of my fellow citizens are the sorry consequences of uncommitted abortions. "

" To me all men are equal: there are jackasses everywhere, and I have the same contempt for them all. "

" It is better not to express what one means than to express what one does not mean. "

" A fine world in which man reproaches woman with fulfilling his heart's desire! "

" It is the style of idealism to console itself for the loss of something old with the ability to gape at something new. "

" A writer is someone who can make a riddle out of an answer. "

" Experiences are savings which a miser puts aside. Wisdom is an inheritance which a wastrel cannot exhaust. "

" Science is spectral analysis. Art is light synthesis. "

" A child learns to discard his ideals, whereas a grown-up never wears out his short pants. "

" Feminine passion is to masculine as an epic is to an epigram. "

" Jealousy is a dog's bark which attracts thieves. "

" Squeeze human nature into the straitjacket of criminal justice and crime will appear. "

" Education is a crutch with which the foolish attack the wise to prove that they are not idiots. "

" I and life: The case was settled chivalrously. The opponents parted without having made up. "

" I am already so popular that anyone who vilifies me becomes more popular than I am. "

" Stupidity is an elemental force for which no earthquake is a match. "

" Democracy means the opportunity to be everyone's slave. "

" There are people who can never forgive a beggar for their not having given him anything. "

" I and my public understand each other very well: it does not hear what I say, and I don't say what it wants to hear. "

" Morality is a venereal disease. Its primary stage is called virtue; its secondary stage, boredom; its tertiary stage, syphilis. "

" You'd be surprised how hard it can often be to translate an action into an idea. "

" Matrimony is the union of meanness and martyrdom. "

" Democracy divides people into workers and loafers. It makes no provision for those who have no time to work. "

" Culture is the tacit agreement to let the means of subsistence disappear behind the purpose of existence. Civilization is the subordination of the latter to the former. "

" Education is what most receive, many pass on, and few possess. "

" Psychoanalysis is that mental illness for which it regards itself as therapy. "

" Corruption is worse than prostitution. The latter might endanger the morals of an individual, the former invariably endangers the morals of the entire country. "

" No ideas and the ability to express them - that's a journalist. "