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" A fine world in which man reproaches woman with fulfilling his heart's desire! "

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" The trouble with Germans is not that they fire shells, but that they engrave them with quotations from Kant. "

" Education is a crutch with which the foolish attack the wise to prove that they are not idiots. "

" It is the style of idealism to console itself for the loss of something old with the ability to gape at something new. "

" Solitude would be ideal if you could pick the people to avoid. "

" I am already so popular that anyone who vilifies me becomes more popular than I am. "

" Experiences are savings which a miser puts aside. Wisdom is an inheritance which a wastrel cannot exhaust. "

" He who does without the praise of the crowd will not deny himself an opportunity to be his own adherent. "

" Squeeze human nature into the straitjacket of criminal justice and crime will appear. "

" Psychoanalysis is that mental illness for which it regards itself as therapy. "

" You'd be surprised how hard it can often be to translate an action into an idea. "

" The mission of the press is to spread culture while destroying the attention span. "

" How is the world ruled and led to war? Diplomats lie to journalists and believe these lies when they see them in print. "

" The closer the look one takes at a word, the greater distance from which it looks back. "

" Language is the mother of thought, not its handmaiden. "

" I had a terrible vision: I saw an encyclopedia walk up to a polymath and open him up. "

" Journalists write because they have nothing to say, and have something to say because they write. "

" Sex education is legitimate in that girls cannot be taught soon enough how children don't come into the world. "

" To me all men are equal: there are jackasses everywhere, and I have the same contempt for them all. "

" There is no more unfortunate creature under the sun than a fetishist who yearns for a woman's shoe and has to settle for the whole woman. "

" Matrimony is the union of meanness and martyrdom. "

" I and my public understand each other very well: it does not hear what I say, and I don't say what it wants to hear. "

" Morality is a venereal disease. Its primary stage is called virtue; its secondary stage, boredom; its tertiary stage, syphilis. "

" I and life: The case was settled chivalrously. The opponents parted without having made up. "

" Journalist: a person without any ideas but with an ability to express them; a writer whose skill is improved by a deadline: the more time he has, the worse he writes. "

" Feminine passion is to masculine as an epic is to an epigram. "

" It is better not to express what one means than to express what one does not mean. "

" An idea's birth is legitimate if one has the feeling that one is catching oneself plagiarizing oneself. "

" Corruption is worse than prostitution. The latter might endanger the morals of an individual, the former invariably endangers the morals of the entire country. "

" Someone who can write aphorisms should not fritter away his time in essays. "

" Democracy means the opportunity to be everyone's slave. "