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" But I think the thing I'm proud of about the film is that there aren't many films - either independent films or mainstream Hollywood films - that are like this; it's of its own times, and it's the film Mike Nichols wanted to make. "

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" I hoped the dramatic power of the play would rest on that tension between elegant structure - the underlying plan is that you see the first and last meeting of every couple in the play - and inelegant emotion. "

Patrick Marber

Power

Rest

Meeting

" I did have a midlife crisis. "

Patrick Marber

Crisis

Did

" I have the comedian's fear of bottles flying. I've never been bottled off, but I have had things thrown at me. Bag of crisps. And there's still a part of me, when I sit in an audience, that thinks people are going to start heckling the play. "

" I'd been to the Comedy Store, and I loved the terror of it and the way the best comedians could control the crowd. What confidence that would give you, if you could somehow survive. "

" When I look back I can't believe I was so stupid as to direct Dealer's Choice. "

" I think I write serious comedies. I would love to be able to write for pure pleasure, but the undertow is always loneliness. "

" I used to go with my parents and loved it, I was in school plays, and I started reading plays before I started reading novels. I'll defend it to the hilt. When theatre is good it is fabulous. "

" I'm a Jew. I think of myself as a Jew first and Englishman second. "

" If I get anything out, producing anything, no matter whether it's good or not, I allow myself a little pat on the back. "

" A part of me would like to see the money go to hospitals or housing, but I have benefited so greatly from funding for the National Theatre, which has been incredible. "

Patrick Marber

Theatre

See

" I don't feel so alive if I'm not being creative. "

" Theatre is how I first encountered art on any level. "

" Enough people like me. Enough to let me sleep at night. "

Patrick Marber

Sleep

Night

" I consider myself a Jewish writer, like all my heroes: Tom Stoppard, David Mamet, Philip Roth, Arthur Miller, Woody Allen. "

Patrick Marber

Jewish

Myself

" Well, you just know, as a writer, I didn't really write one of the five best screenplays of the year. There were lots of brilliant screenplays; I was just one of the lucky ones who got nominated. "

" Oh, I would love to be in Don Juan's shoes for a weekend. Not that I was ever handsome enough to be a Don Juan. "

" My dialogue probably reveals the paranoia of the stand-up: if you're not quick and interesting, they will be gone. "

" Great comedy is always sadistic. "

" I dispute that 'Closer' is about betrayal. Betrayal is one of the elements. "

" I have made a decision that in future, I will only take on movies that have a better than 75 per cent chance of being made, and that's not easy. "

" I'm a Golden Globe nominee, yes. It's very nice. It's a very nice thing, but I kind of think of all the awards I wasn't ever nominated for, for years and things. "

" I come back to the theatre happily knowing that while it won't make me rich, it will provide me with fun. "

Patrick Marber

Knowing

Rich

" Most of what I write is comedy. "

" It doesn't really feel like it's got anything to do with me. I mean, I know I wrote it, and all that and invented the characters and made it up, but it's Mike's film, so doing the press and stuff, it feels a little bit inauthentic. I was just one component of it. "

Patrick Marber

Film

Mean

" I like them all - I don't always approve. I see myself as a sort of benevolent uncle to these characters, and I can see why they do what they do; sometimes they make some mistakes, but at heart I think they're decent. "

" Almost every play is 10, 15 minutes too long. "

" When I'm on a train and see an empty pitch, it gives me a certain pleasure that I can't quite describe. It's to do with potential. "

" I'm a happily married man and I think to get married you have to be optimistic. "

" My life is in dialogue with the plays that I write. The relationship I have with my plays is very, very intimate, and I dot my life through them. "

" I mean when the play was on in New York I was starting to get film offers coming through, and since the film's come out I get offered more than I used to, but it happens incrementally. "