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" I never think I'm making fun of my culture. In fact I'm making fun of myself, because I catch myself doing some very stupid things. "

Chuck Palahniuk

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" No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood edges up too close. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" If you knew that your life was merely a phase or short, short segment of your entire existence, how would you live? Knowing nothing 'real' was at risk, what would you do? You'd live a gigantic, bold, fun, dazzling life. You know you would. That's what the ghosts want us to do - all the exciting things they no longer can. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" You hear the best stories from ordinary people. That sense of immediacy is more real to me than a lot of writerly, literary-type crafted stories. I want that immediacy when I read a novel. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" When the 'Fight Club' movie was going into production, I quit my job so I could write full-time. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I thought 'Fight Club' was great as David Fincher's version. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then people not having socially appropriate responses, having people denying the drama by failing to react to it, and that's a really classic form of humor. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Some of the best ideas I get seem to happen when I'm doing mindless manual labor or exercise. I'm not sure how that happens, but it leaves me free for remarkable ideas to occur. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I come from generations of farmers. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Arguing that God doesn't exist would be like people in the 10th century arguing that germs and microbes didn't exist because they couldn't see them. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I wouldn't get nearly as many books written if I lived in New York. The Columbia Gorge is fantastic. When the sun shines, I just want to be outdoors. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I think it's more important to write something that brings men back to reading than it is to write for people who already read. There's a reason men don't read, and it's because books don't serve men. It's time we produce books that serve men. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Sometimes, like in 'Invisible Monsters,' I get too out of control, and instead of a plot point every chapter, I want a plot point in every sentence. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I try to forget about the expectation that's out there and the audience listening for the next thing so that I'm not trying to please them. I've spent a huge amount of time not communicating with those folks and denying that they exist. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I know that I'm going to die and that you're going to die. I can't do anything about that. But I can explore it through a metaphor and make a kind of funny, dark story about it, and in doing so, really exhaust and research as many aspects of it as I can imagine. And in a way, that does give me some closure. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The pretentiousness of literature really annoys me; the way a writer is held as this sort of magical person to be revered on the stage. Everything I do on tour is to try and destroy that pretense. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I live by fallacy. 'If I get enough nice Ikea furniture, I'll be a grown-up.' Then I catch myself. Or, 'If I get off by myself, away from the stress of modern life, I'll be OK.' Then I catch myself. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home... it's your responsibility to love it, or change it. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" It takes a lot to get people talking in airplanes. But once they start talking, you just can't shut them up. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" There's a television show, 'Hoarders,' where people have those homes filled with stuff. Emotionally, in our minds, we get so filled with resentments where we've got a story about absolutely everything. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The first step to eternal life is you have to die. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My way of being with people is probably incredibly unhealthy, in that I'll be incredibly social, and I won't write a word for maybe a year, and I'll just be with people, going to parties and soaking up stories, and just sort of recharging all of my ideas. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I always thought I'd write when I retired - when I turned 65. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" A short story is something that you can hold in your mind. You can really analyze how the entire thing works, like a machine. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" At school I was lazy. But I started working when I was 15, washing dishes at a local truck stop restaurant. I was really, really bored with school, and I wanted to get a job as fast as I could. School was just so easy. There was just no challenge to it. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" We don't see a lot of models for male social interaction. There's sports and barn raisings. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My writing process isn't a very organized thing. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage. "

Chuck Palahniuk