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" I think America is just so in love with conflict. "

Chuck Palahniuk

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" At school I was lazy. But I started working when I was 15, washing dishes at a local truck stop restaurant. I was really, really bored with school, and I wanted to get a job as fast as I could. School was just so easy. There was just no challenge to it. "

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" The most boring scenes are the scenes where a character is alone. "

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" My favorite books to give or get are short story collections. And always paperbacks because they are easy to carry as you travel. "

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" My stories always have these twisted happy endings, and the boy always gets the girl. "

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" I've always been very curious about fringe cultures where people temporarily adopt a different social model or way of presenting themselves. "

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" All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring. "

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" In my family, we can't just sit and be together. We have to be shelling peas or husking corn or something. A larger task. Some way of being with people. "

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" Portland is quickly becoming one of those lovely, lush Third World countries where kinda-rich people retire with their money. "

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" Most novels, I find, are three times longer than they need to be. Very little happens, and I don't want to waste my time with them. "

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" The folks who read my books are so passionate about each one of them that the people making my movies are more afraid of my readership than they are of me. "

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" Any 'artist' makes a living by expressing what others can't - because they're unaware of their feelings, they're too afraid to express those feelings, or they lack the skills to communicate and be understood. "

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" No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood edges up too close. "

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" I want my characters to really overuse their coping mechanisms to the point where they break down within 300 pages. "

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" My private history in terms of people in my life who are dead is very easy to discuss. I don't feel those people can be threatened or intruded upon now. But I am enormously protective of the people who are currently in my life, my existing friends and family. That is where the curtain is drawn. "

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" Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves. "

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" If you don't believe what other people believe, then they'll accuse you of being nihilistic. "

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" Nobody's told me anything to date that I've been completely reviled by. "

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" It seems that so much writing is being done in the nineteenth-century model, where every connection has to be thoroughly explained. "

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" Once religion has been dismissed by primarily an intellectual class of people, we lose the really useful social functions of religion... What replaces it might be worse than what we throw away. "

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" My parents divorced about the same time the movie 'The Parent Trap' came out, about two twins at camp who scheme to get their parents back together. I had that same fantasy. "

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" When I first read the story 'Guts' in workshop - my fellow writers that I've been meeting with for almost 20 years - they laughed; they didn't have any kind of shock reaction. "

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" I thought 'Fight Club' was great as David Fincher's version. "

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" I've always thought stand-up comedians were the oral storytellers of our time, because they know rhetoric, they know delivery, they know timing, they know all of these things that you can only learn by telling a story out loud and interacting with an audience. "

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" I have a lot of money. "

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" My personal theory is that younger audiences disdain books - not because those readers are dumber than past readers, but because today's reader is smarter. "

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" Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education. "

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" People have to deal with their issues together; they have to expose themselves and kind of exhaust themselves. "

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" You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be. "

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" I never think I'm making fun of my culture. In fact I'm making fun of myself, because I catch myself doing some very stupid things. "

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" I am enormously uncool. I've made a cottage industry of being uncool. And I'm fine with that. "

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