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" My parents divorced about the same time the movie 'The Parent Trap' came out, about two twins at camp who scheme to get their parents back together. I had that same fantasy. "
" I wanted to write about the moment when your addictions no longer hide the truth from you. When your whole life breaks down. That's the moment when you have to somehow choose what your life is going to be about. "
" Every time I write something, I think, this is the most offensive thing I will ever write. But no. I always surprise myself. "
" When I first read the story 'Guts' in workshop - my fellow writers that I've been meeting with for almost 20 years - they laughed; they didn't have any kind of shock reaction. "
" Men are destroyed for being rebellious, and women destroy themselves by failing to be rebellious. Unless you can make that next jump to either getting along with people or resisting people, you are ultimately destroying yourself. "
" Every woman is just a different kind of problem. "
" I have a lot of fans who are in the prison system, where ramen noodles are a kind of staple. Prisoners are always sending me recipes. "
" My writing process isn't a very organized thing. "
" Portland in particular is a cheap enough place to live that you can still develop your passion - painting, writing, music. People seem less status-conscious. Even wealthy people buy second-hand clothes and look a little bit homeless. "
" Arguing that God doesn't exist would be like people in the 10th century arguing that germs and microbes didn't exist because they couldn't see them. "
" The best thing about getting a flu shot is that you never again need to wash your hands. That's how I see it. "
" Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet. "
" My goal is to create a metaphor that changes our reality by charming people into considering their world in a different way. "
" My books didn't fit a marketing niche. "
" There are people out there who will not read books, but somehow they'll read my books. "
" Nobody's told me anything to date that I've been completely reviled by. "
" I think it's more important to write something that brings men back to reading than it is to write for people who already read. There's a reason men don't read, and it's because books don't serve men. It's time we produce books that serve men. "
" If you knew that your life was merely a phase or short, short segment of your entire existence, how would you live? Knowing nothing 'real' was at risk, what would you do? You'd live a gigantic, bold, fun, dazzling life. You know you would. That's what the ghosts want us to do - all the exciting things they no longer can. "
" I dread the promotion part of my job. It's agony, especially compared to the private, at-home joy of writing. But being a grown-up means doing every part of the larger task. "
" People have to really suffer before they can risk doing what they love. "
" I'm only confrontational with my friends. "
" The best fights don't occur between strangers. They occur between friends who trust each other. "
" As we grow older I always think, why didn't I do more when I was young, why didn't I risk more? "
" The answer is there is no answer. "
" People would ask me to autograph their bodies and then the next time I'd see them on tour they'd have my autograph tattooed. I decided I wouldn't write on people anymore, but I'd give them arms and legs and if they wanted those autographed I'd do that. "
" I just don't want to die without a few scars. "
" I thought 'Fight Club' was great as David Fincher's version. "
" Find out what you're afraid of and go live there. "
" Of the big horror movies of the '70s, you have 'The Omen,' 'The Sentinel,' 'Rosemary's Baby,' 'The Stepford Wives,' 'Burnt Offerings' - these are all romantic fatalist movies where there's a sort of glimmer of hope... but darkness wins. "
" Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home... it's your responsibility to love it, or change it. "
" You realize you have no control over how you're perceived. "