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" As with most liberal sexual ideas, what makes the world a better place for men invariably makes it a duller and more dangerous place for women. "
Julie Burchill
Ideas
World
Women
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" When I moved out of London 13 years ago, I found a whole other reason not to drive. This was because my new husband Dan, unlike my dad, did drive, and this became a great source of fun and adventure. "
Julie Burchill
Drive
Fun
Great
" Tears are sometimes an inappropriate response to death. When a life has been lived completely honestly, completely successfully, or just completely, the correct response to death's perfect punctuation mark is a smile. "
Julie Burchill
Life
Death
Smile
" I'll declare my own interest right here at the start and admit that, like the vast majority of people, I find youthful looks appealing. "
Julie Burchill
Admit
Start
People
" My dad didn't drive - the only dad I knew who didn't. "
Julie Burchill
Who
Knew
Drive
" Big women do themselves a disservice when they attempt to become the Righteous Fat (the Righteous Thin are bad enough, all that running around and sweating, somehow believing it means anything). "
Julie Burchill
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Women
Fat
" In Barcelona, things seem so different. For example, I know that it's traditionally the least Spanish city, but you'd never know they had a monarchy, coming here as a tourist - as opposed to the U.K., where the Queen is probably the best-known animal, vegetable and/or mineral going when it comes to overseas visitors. "
Julie Burchill
Know
Queen
You
" Blakes Hotel in South Kensington was a particular favourite of mine during what I affectionately think of as my Restless Years. "
Julie Burchill
Years
Think
Restless
" Fame is no sanctuary from the passing of youth... suicide is much easier and more acceptable in Hollywood than growing old gracefully. "
Julie Burchill
Growing
Growing Old
Suicide
" The secret is not to care what anyone thinks of you. "
Julie Burchill
Anyone
Secret
Thinks
" What sort of sap doesn't know by now that picture-perfect beauty is all done with smoke and mirrors anyway? "
Julie Burchill
Now
Smoke
Mirrors
" My second husband believed I had such a fickle attitude to friendship that each Friday he would update the list of my 'Top Ten' friends in the manner of a Top Of The Pops chart countdown. "
Julie Burchill
Attitude
Friendship
Friends
" Graham Greene famously said that all writers need a chip of ice in their heart; Cusk can come across as the most beautiful ice palace of stalactites and stalagmites, and some people find her company, albeit by proxy, about as inviting as a long weekend in a walk-in frigidaire. "
Julie Burchill
Weekend
Heart
Beautiful
" As a kid, I grew to define what I didn't want my life to be like by sitting behind moaning women on the bus, hearing them bang on about their aches and pains, both real and imagined. "
Julie Burchill
My Life
Kid
Life
" Some say that Cusk has no sense of humour, but expecting giggles from this writer would be akin to expecting sonnets from Benny Hill. "
Julie Burchill
Hill
Humour
No Sense
" Grooming oneself with all the crazed compulsion of an under-exercised lab rat in order to hook a rich man and obtain a lush lifestyle makes a certain (albeit seedy) sense. "
Julie Burchill
Lab
Man
Rat
" Whenever I am sent a new book on the lively arts, the first thing I do is look for myself in the index. "
Julie Burchill
New
Myself
I Am
" Having 'best friends' is - at least for me - as outdated and small-minded a concept as the idea of 'Sunday best clothes.' "
Julie Burchill
Friends
Best
Sunday
" Is the raggle-taggle Brangelina tribe any more bogus than that of the landlocked yummy mummy who believes that she can drop half a dozen brats and still keep a modest carbon footprint? I don't think so. "
Julie Burchill
Tribe
Think
She
" The allegedly 'classy' magazines often seem to be in an endless, undeclared competition to see who can climb furthest up the fundament of Gwyneth Paltrow or Jennifer Lopez. "
Julie Burchill
Competition
See
Up
" It shouldn't come as any surprise that those who choose acting as a profession are phonies who live in a fantasy world. What is surprising is how many of them are blissfully unaware of it. "
Julie Burchill
World
Surprise
Live
" It's received wisdom that the English are uniquely child-unfriendly. "
Julie Burchill
Wisdom
English
Uniquely
" I've always thought of beauty therapy, 'alternative' treatments and the like as the female equivalent of brothels - for essentially self-deceiving people who feel a bit hollow and have to pay to be touched. "
Julie Burchill
People
Thought
Always
" People often yearn back to more innocent times, but more and more, as I get older, I find myself hankering after more jaded days. "
Julie Burchill
People
Myself
Back
" A good part - and definitely the most fun part - of being a feminist is about frightening men. "
Julie Burchill
Feminist
Fun
Most
" I have experienced jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse and violence from men, but I have also experienced jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse and violence from women, usually when I failed to respond to their advances. "
Julie Burchill
Violence
Women
Jealousy
" Because I was an only, I had more things, and I remember early on the kick I got from giving stuff away. Despite all the myths about only children not being able to share, actually I've never knowingly met a stingy one. "
Julie Burchill
Never
Remember
Giving
" To believe that one, or even three, mates can supply all the things one needs from one's friends is as stupid as believing married couples must do everything together. "
Julie Burchill
Friends
Believe
Together
" As a precocious teen I dreamed of being Graham Greene. Well, as it turned out, I never wrote a great novel, sadly, and I never converted to Catholicism, happily, but I did do one thing he did. That is, in middle age I moved to a seaside town and got into a right barney with the local powers-that-be. "
Julie Burchill
Never
Age
Got
" Lots of women love to accuse men of being immature when the fellow in question displays a reluctance to 'commit.' "
Julie Burchill
Love
Question
Men
" I know that Brighton is famously a mixture of the seedy and the elegant, but in the summer of 2001 seediness swamped elegance hands down. "
Julie Burchill
Down
Elegance
Summer