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" Cellphones have, if nothing else, turned TV crime writers into lazy sloths. "
Douglas Coupland
Turned
TV
Nothing
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" Once you see someone lose it, you can never look at them the same way again. "
Douglas Coupland
You
Look
Lose
" Christmas makes everything twice as sad. "
Douglas Coupland
Christmas
Twice
Sad
" Sometimes failure isn't an opportunity in disguise, it's just you. "
Douglas Coupland
Sometimes
Failure
You
" I miss my pre-Internet brain, but that doesn't help anything. We can only go forward. "
Douglas Coupland
Go
Anything
Brain
" The thing about living in the 21st century is you can get to fortysomething and not have anyone major in your life die. "
Douglas Coupland
Die
Your
You
" When I look at my daily schedule, I feel like a trout flopping about on a dock, drowning in the air. Some people are ruthless with their schedules. Not me. I wing it. "
Douglas Coupland
Feel
Look
Me
" Bespoke tailoring: yes! I found this one pair of pants - they're Canali - and brought them into a tailor and said, 'Clone these, dammit.' They just do all the right things. I've got eight pairs in different colors and I never have to think about pants again. The only look otherwise that suits me is, like, the Professor from 'Gilligan's Island.' "
Douglas Coupland
Island
Look
Colors
" Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time. "
Douglas Coupland
Free
Time
Too Much
" The neighborhood I grew up in had this fence that surrounds the watershed. And if you go on the other side of that fence, there's nothing until the North Pole and down to Siberia. It's the absolute cutoff point between man and nature. "
Douglas Coupland
Nothing
Down
Fence
" Fashionable people can opt out of the fashion stream, but a stylish person never becomes unstylish unless they hit their head on a rock and suffer brain damage. "
Douglas Coupland
Stylish
Fashion
Brain
" I think most people either forget or don't know that Microsoft only hires people with I.Q.'s well over 130. "
Douglas Coupland
Forget
Over
Well
" Most people have no idea how to politely answer a phone. The English do, and it's been their only major business advantage for the past two centuries. "
Douglas Coupland
Two
Phone
Business
" Storytelling is ultimately a creative act of pattern recognition. Through characters, plot and setting, a writer creates places where previously invisible truths become visible. Or the storyteller posits a series of dots that the reader can connect. "
Douglas Coupland
Recognition
Storytelling
Creative
" Try not thinking of peeling an orange. Try not imagining the juice running down your fingers, the soft inner part of the peel. The smell. Try and you can't. The brain doesn't process negatives. "
Douglas Coupland
You
Thinking
Orange
" Once you establish a look, and once everybody recognizes that look as your look, you never have to think about fashion again. "
Douglas Coupland
Again
Think
Never
" We really ought to give ourselves a collective pat on the back for doing as well as we have in a universe of constant media change and mutation. "
Douglas Coupland
Change
Doing
Back
" My father has never once asked me a question, any question. There's a freedom that came from that. It allowed me to create my own way of thinking. "
Douglas Coupland
Father
Freedom
Me
" The thing about the future is that it never feels the way we thought it would. "
Douglas Coupland
Way
Feels
Never
" By your thirties, you should be doing whatever it is you're supposed to be doing with your life and just get on with it - which is what I suppose happened with me as much as to anyone else. "
Douglas Coupland
Just
Me
Whatever
" In the future, torture will once again become the recreational sport of the rich. "
Douglas Coupland
Future
Rich
Will
" There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off. "
Douglas Coupland
Cure
Nothing
Funny
" When you crop the photo, you tell a lie. "
Douglas Coupland
Crop
You
Tell
" If our subconscious was attractive, we wouldn't have to bury it down deep within us. "
Douglas Coupland
Down
Bury
Deep
" Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without. "
Douglas Coupland
Without
Three
Things
" Everyone wants to share what he or she has learned with someone who really cares. "
Douglas Coupland
Share
Cares
Everyone
" Every single moment is a coincidence. "
Douglas Coupland
Coincidence
Single
Moment
" One of the cruelest things you can do to another person is pretend you care about them more than you really do. "
Douglas Coupland
Person
You
Things
" In Canada, we're happy to provide a safe haven for next-door neighbors in the middle of a marital dispute. And if anyone trips while crossing the border, we're happy to set their broken bones for free. "
Douglas Coupland
Happy
Broken
Neighbors
" Lottery tickets are a surtax on desperation. "
Douglas Coupland
Tickets
Desperation
Lottery
" If you have an impulse to kindness, act on it. "
Douglas Coupland
You
Kindness
Act