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" If I were a painter, you'd be calling me Shaqcasso. "

Shaquille O'Neal

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" Being here feels like I'm out of prison. This is the right place, the right time, the right team. "

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" Because I'm so big, you have to look at me. I think of myself as a monument. But sometimes I like to feel small. "

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" I love race car drivers, I love gymnastics, I love UFC, I love police officers, I love firefighters. I just try to give them the same enjoyment they give me. "

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" I average 25 with three guys on me and they are just looking at stats I guess. "

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" I just want to keep people entertained. "

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" I never worry about the problem. I worry about the solution. "

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" Every time I do something silly, it comes off really funny because it's natural. "

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" When I tweet, I try and accomplish three things. One, is to make you laugh. Two, is to inform you. Three, is to enlighten you. That's all I do. "

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" When you're in championships, it's never about what you do. It's always about what other people do. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" I'm an unorthodox type of guy, a funny guy - at least I think I'm funny. And one of the things I like to do is come up with nicknames for myself. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" I want to be known as 'The Big Shakespeare.' It was Shakespeare that said, 'Some men are born great, some achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust upon them.' "

Shaquille O'Neal

" I'm done with the nicknames. Actually, when I obtain my doctorate, I will not allow people to call me Shaq anymore, either. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" Can I go one day without somebody saying something negative about me? "

Shaquille O'Neal

" As a youngster, my mother and father always drilled into my head having something to fall back on. My father was kind of funny. I'd score 40 points. I'd come home and say, 'Look dad, I scored 40.' He'd never have a smile on his face. He'd be like, 'I saw that move you did. What if you'd hurt your knee?' "

Shaquille O'Neal

" There is no answer to the Pythagorean theorem. Well, there is an answer, but by the time you figure it out, I got 40 points, 10 rebounds and then we're planning for the parade. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" For all my friends in the media who like quotes, mark this quote down. From this day on I'd like to be known as 'The Big Aristotle' because Aristotle once said, 'Excellence is not a singular act; it's a habit. You are what you repeatedly do.' "

Shaquille O'Neal

" And I want to do it the right way, like everybody else, not just a famous figurehead that gets a job because he is a famous basketball player. I want to really learn the business. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" Art is a process of delivering or arranging elements that appeal to the emotions of a person looking at it. It's what you feel. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" This is a tough game. There are times when you've got to play hurt, when you've got to block out the pain. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" The best quality about Kobe Bryant? You want me to be honest? I don't know. I'll tell you why. I open my arms to everybody. But he never stepped forward for the embrace. So I never really got to know him. I don't know anything about him, and it's kinda sad. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" David Stern should get with the mothers of the NBA and let the moms decide what the dress code should be. I asked my mother if I could wear a chain, and she told me yeah. So I do stuff that my parents allow me to do. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" Challenge me. Treat me like a game of checkers and play me. That's all I'm asking, just play me. Treat me like Sega and play me. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" I'm a weird big guy. Doing rapping, doing movies. Do a lot of stuff. But always do things the right way. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" I've met a lot of artists who wanted to paint me. LeRoy Neiman was one. He did it from a photograph. He made 20,000 copies, and we sold them all. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" One lucky shot deserves another. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" I'm very excited about my new agreement with the Heat. This contract allows me to address all of my family's long-term financial goals while allowing the Heat the ability to acquire those players that we need to win a championship. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" I would like to be refered to as 'The Big Aristotle'. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" I don't believe that I personally have been changed by the money. The bad thing is people assume you've changed because now you have money. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" Nobody's going to tell me how to be different, so stop asking me. Stop asking me what two-plus-two is. Everybody knows two-plus-two is five. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" Someday I might have to put down a basketball and have a regular 9-to-5 like everybody else. "

Shaquille O'Neal