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" I'm very excited about my new agreement with the Heat. This contract allows me to address all of my family's long-term financial goals while allowing the Heat the ability to acquire those players that we need to win a championship. "

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" Nobody's going to tell me how to be different, so stop asking me. Stop asking me what two-plus-two is. Everybody knows two-plus-two is five. "

Shaquille O'Neal

Stop

Tell

Be Different

" I started out as a young Ninja and killed all of the Shoguns. I am a Shogun now and I'm holding my spot. There probably won't be another Shogun after this. "

" Look up the word role in the dictionary and you'll see it means playing a part. That's why I call myself a real model. "

" Everything happens for a reason. I'm used to it, I prepare for it. Like I say, at the end of the day, those in charge of their own destiny are going to do what's right for them and their family. "

" And I want to do it the right way, like everybody else, not just a famous figurehead that gets a job because he is a famous basketball player. I want to really learn the business. "

" I never worry about the problem. I worry about the solution. "

" I don't believe that I personally have been changed by the money. The bad thing is people assume you've changed because now you have money. "

" I had an awful first quarter but I picked it up. To all you single guys out there, it's not how you start the date, it's how you finish it sir. A lot of people can, you know, start the date with flowers and candy, but if you don't finish the date - you know what I mean? "

" I'm on a mission. And I know the older I get, I may lose a step or two, but it's all up in the medulla oblongata. I've got a lot up there. I've got a lot of knowledge... in this medulla oblongata. "

Shaquille O'Neal

Mission

Know

" My job has always been to entertain people. I want people to laugh. "

" There is no answer to the Pythagorean theorem. Well, there is an answer, but by the time you figure it out, I got 40 points, 10 rebounds and then we're planning for the parade. "

" When you flop, that's just another message that you don't know how to play me. Stand up and take your medicine like a man. "

Shaquille O'Neal

Medicine

Stand

" I do what I do. Always. "

Shaquille O'Neal

Always

" I average 25 with three guys on me and they are just looking at stats I guess. "

Shaquille O'Neal

Guys

Three

" Our offense is like the pythagorean theorem: There is no answer! "

" For all my friends in the media who like quotes, mark this quote down. From this day on I'd like to be known as 'The Big Aristotle' because Aristotle once said, 'Excellence is not a singular act; it's a habit. You are what you repeatedly do.' "

" I play against a front and a back every night, Ming does not have to do that, Duncan does not have to do that, Garnett doesn't do that. I am the only one that has to do that. "

" If you got the game, you got the game. That's why Tiger Woods is out there playing golf with Greg Norman. "

" I'm short and to the point. "

Shaquille O'Neal

Point

Short

" Generals don't panic; then the troops never panic. "

" David Stern should get with the mothers of the NBA and let the moms decide what the dress code should be. I asked my mother if I could wear a chain, and she told me yeah. So I do stuff that my parents allow me to do. "

" When you're in championships, it's never about what you do. It's always about what other people do. "

" When I tweet, I try and accomplish three things. One, is to make you laugh. Two, is to inform you. Three, is to enlighten you. That's all I do. "

" I don't get nervous in any situation. There's no such thing as nerves when you're playing games. "

" I'm like tax. You're going to pay one way or the other. "

Shaquille O'Neal

Pay

Going

" Being here feels like I'm out of prison. This is the right place, the right time, the right team. "

" This is a tough game. There are times when you've got to play hurt, when you've got to block out the pain. "

" Every time I do something silly, it comes off really funny because it's natural. "

" I'm an unorthodox type of guy, a funny guy - at least I think I'm funny. And one of the things I like to do is come up with nicknames for myself. "

" I'm a mama's boy above all. "