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" If there had been zombies on the iceberg when the Titanic hit it, that would have made a much better movie. "

Chuck Palahniuk

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" My private history in terms of people in my life who are dead is very easy to discuss. I don't feel those people can be threatened or intruded upon now. But I am enormously protective of the people who are currently in my life, my existing friends and family. That is where the curtain is drawn. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" You can tell a more over-the-top incredible story if you use a nonfiction form. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Why is it you feel like a dope if you laugh alone, but that's usually how you end up crying? "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Think about George Orwell's three-minute hate from the novel '1984' and how that left everyone sort of exhausted and able to live their boring humdrum lives. If our lives are going to continue being unfulfilled and boring, perhaps we do need some sort of short-term violent chaos incorporated into them, to make them more palatable. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The first step to eternal life is you have to die. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I am the cause of all my upsets. I am my worst enemy. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I haven't shoplifted since I was 13. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" A big reason why I started writing is I felt that fiction had stopped evolving. All other entertainments were getting better, constantly, as technology allowed. Movies. Video games. Music. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" You hear the best stories from ordinary people. That sense of immediacy is more real to me than a lot of writerly, literary-type crafted stories. I want that immediacy when I read a novel. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" There's a television show, 'Hoarders,' where people have those homes filled with stuff. Emotionally, in our minds, we get so filled with resentments where we've got a story about absolutely everything. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The folks who read my books are so passionate about each one of them that the people making my movies are more afraid of my readership than they are of me. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" You are not a beautiful, unique snowflake... This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" In books, you can just wallow in dialogue, and you can just wallow in written words. In screenplays, every line has to serve the purpose of the line that's implied before it and the line that's implied after it. Maybe five lines have to do the work of fifty lines. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" It seems that so much writing is being done in the nineteenth-century model, where every connection has to be thoroughly explained. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Writing in public gives you that access to a junkyard of details all around you. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Portland is quickly becoming one of those lovely, lush Third World countries where kinda-rich people retire with their money. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My goal is more to be remembered. They'll remember this thing and like it in the future. The trick is to stay remembered long enough for that to happen. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My father used to call me 'bird bones' and, well, the name fits. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" At school I was lazy. But I started working when I was 15, washing dishes at a local truck stop restaurant. I was really, really bored with school, and I wanted to get a job as fast as I could. School was just so easy. There was just no challenge to it. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Of the big horror movies of the '70s, you have 'The Omen,' 'The Sentinel,' 'Rosemary's Baby,' 'The Stepford Wives,' 'Burnt Offerings' - these are all romantic fatalist movies where there's a sort of glimmer of hope... but darkness wins. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I tell everyone I interact with what I'm working on and let them bring me anecdotes that illustrate my themes. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Sometimes the past seems too big for the present to hold. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home... it's your responsibility to love it, or change it. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Nobody's told me anything to date that I've been completely reviled by. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I don't know if you ever really feel like you've made it. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I haven't had television since 1991, and it definitely influences me. As a child of the 1970s, I couldn't hold a narrative in my head; I was lucky if I could hold a joke in my head, because every time you turn on television or radio, it wipes the slate clean - at least in my case. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism. "

Chuck Palahniuk