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" I haven't shoplifted since I was 13. "
Chuck Palahniuk
Since
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" I have a lot of fans who are in the prison system, where ramen noodles are a kind of staple. Prisoners are always sending me recipes. "
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" I always thought I'd write when I retired - when I turned 65. "
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" More and more, it feels like I'm doing a really bad impersonation of myself. "
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" For me, writing is a kind of coping mechanism. "
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" So many of our enormous emotional crises are lived through the media. They're lived through movies; they're lived through what we watch on television - they're not actual events in our life. "
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" If you knew that your life was merely a phase or short, short segment of your entire existence, how would you live? Knowing nothing 'real' was at risk, what would you do? You'd live a gigantic, bold, fun, dazzling life. You know you would. That's what the ghosts want us to do - all the exciting things they no longer can. "
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" While writing, I tend to repeat the same song, endlessly, for thousands of times. This helps me ignore any lyrics, and helps create a consistent mood for each book. "
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" I write in a noisy, distracting world so the books can be read there. "
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" That saying, about how you always kill the thing you love, well, it works both ways. "
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" Minimalism seems closest to the sophisticated storytelling of movies. Movies have really educated contemporary audiences to be the most intelligent, sophisticated audiences in history. We don't any longer need to have the relationship between one scene and the next explained. We will figure it out ourselves. "
Chuck Palahniuk
Movies
History
Relationship
" Mr. Olsen in the fifth grade made me want to be a writer. He said, 'Chuck, you do this really well. And this is much better than setting fires, so keep it up.' That made me a writer. "
Chuck Palahniuk
Well
You
Said
" Do you remember when you were 10 or 11 years old and you really thought your folks were the best? They were completely omniscient and you took their word for everything. And then you got older and you went through this hideous age when suddenly they were the devil, they were bullies, and they didn't know anything. "
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Thought
Remember
" My father used to call me 'bird bones' and, well, the name fits. "
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Bones
Bird
Used
" No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood edges up too close. "
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Love
Think
You
" We're making the same mistakes we made 1,000 years ago. So they must be the right ones. So relax. "
Chuck Palahniuk
Same Mistakes
Relax
Right
" I'm always trying to reach a transcendent point, a romantic point, but reach it in a really unconventional way, a really profane way. To get to that romantic, touching, heartbreaking place, but through a lot of acts of profanity. "
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Always
Place
Reach
" I dread the promotion part of my job. It's agony, especially compared to the private, at-home joy of writing. But being a grown-up means doing every part of the larger task. "
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Promotion
Joy
Doing
" What is the real purpose behind the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus? They seem like greater steps toward faith and imagination, each with a payoff. Like cognitive training exercises. "
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Faith
Imagination
Training
" If you start in the pit of despair with these profane, awful things, even a glimmer of hope or awareness is going to occur that's much brighter coming from this dark, awful beginning. "
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Beginning
Dark
Going
" We don't have friends, so we watch 'Friends' on TV. "
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Friends
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" Sometimes the very best way to deal with unpleasant things is to depict them in ways that allow people to laugh at them and destroy the power of unsayable things, rather than refusing to acknowledge them. "
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People
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" The third person allows characters to really attack themselves. We all do this - attack ourselves - every hour of our lives. "
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Attack
Characters
Ourselves
" I never think I'm making fun of my culture. In fact I'm making fun of myself, because I catch myself doing some very stupid things. "
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Think
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" I am the cause of all my upsets. I am my worst enemy. "
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Cause
Am
Enemy
" When I was little, my grandma used to get romance novels, and she would get hundreds of these, and she'd read a dozen a month. "
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" I have a lot of money. "
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Lot
Money
" If nothing else, there's comfort in recognising that no matter how much we fail and sin, death will limit our suffering. "
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Limit
Comfort
Sin
" Of the big horror movies of the '70s, you have 'The Omen,' 'The Sentinel,' 'Rosemary's Baby,' 'The Stepford Wives,' 'Burnt Offerings' - these are all romantic fatalist movies where there's a sort of glimmer of hope... but darkness wins. "
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Movies
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" My books didn't fit a marketing niche. "
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Fit
Niche
Marketing
" Once I start writing, I can't stop. "
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Once