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" I am the cause of all my upsets. I am my worst enemy. "

Chuck Palahniuk

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" My only writing ritual is to shave my head bald between writing the first and second drafts of a book. If I can throw away all my hair, then I have the freedom to trash any part of the book on the next rewrite. "

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" Portland in particular is a cheap enough place to live that you can still develop your passion - painting, writing, music. People seem less status-conscious. Even wealthy people buy second-hand clothes and look a little bit homeless. "

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" People have to really suffer before they can risk doing what they love. "

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" One thing I really envy about my friends who have kids is that as their children develop, they're able to revisit their own developmental stages and recognise themselves and undo a lot of things they decided. "

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" People have to deal with their issues together; they have to expose themselves and kind of exhaust themselves. "

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" My books are all fantastically sentimental. "

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" I think America is just so in love with conflict. "

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" In 'Diary,' the motto really is: 'Where Do You Get Your Inspiration?' It coaches us to be aware of our motives and not just be a reaction to the circumstances around us. "

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" A minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection. "

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" I have a lot of money. "

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" You are not a beautiful, unique snowflake... This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. "

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" I usually write in my kitchen, which is a large, octagonal room that looks into woods - three big windows look out into the trees. "

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" The best fights don't occur between strangers. They occur between friends who trust each other. "

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" We don't see a lot of models for male social interaction. There's sports and barn raisings. "

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" My parents divorced about the same time the movie 'The Parent Trap' came out, about two twins at camp who scheme to get their parents back together. I had that same fantasy. "

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" Only through destroying myself can I discover the greater power of my spirit. "

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" If there had been zombies on the iceberg when the Titanic hit it, that would have made a much better movie. "

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" People say I make up wild stories. But all I have to do is write down stuff that really happens. "

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" There's a moment in every book when the book turns and it surprises me. "

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" Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet. "

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" If we can prove an afterlife, then we have less pressure to make our physical life last forever. "

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" When I was little, my grandma used to get romance novels, and she would get hundreds of these, and she'd read a dozen a month. "

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" I haven't had television since 1991, and it definitely influences me. As a child of the 1970s, I couldn't hold a narrative in my head; I was lucky if I could hold a joke in my head, because every time you turn on television or radio, it wipes the slate clean - at least in my case. "

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" So many of our enormous emotional crises are lived through the media. They're lived through movies; they're lived through what we watch on television - they're not actual events in our life. "

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" If we all lived according to the teachings of Jesus Christ, life would be much simpler. "

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" I have a lot of fans who are in the prison system, where ramen noodles are a kind of staple. Prisoners are always sending me recipes. "

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" The best thing about getting a flu shot is that you never again need to wash your hands. That's how I see it. "

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" Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head. "

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" I take a lot of flak from the counter-establishment for selling out. "

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